T-they're a team?! (discontinued)

oh fuck its a snake

"Hey, guys this way! Will help you get there" naruto waved over the other villages teams, since they had no idea where to go, they followed the strange trio. once they arrived everybody waited for the examiner to speak, she only eyed everybody and handed someone a stack of papers telling them to pass it around, "sign these, it's so if you die here it won't be our fault" she spoke bluntly as if she didn't just tell a shit ton of 13-year-olds that they could die doing this exam "welp anyways, you have to survive 5 days in this forest" she gestured to the huge fucking forest behind her "each of you will get one scroll, heaven and earth, you have to get both and get to the tower in order to pass" everybody looked at each other quickly understanding the meaning...they had to cut them in half

They all got their scrolls and set off

"I say we get the scroll first, that way we can finish earlier and have more time for training," sakura said

"Maybe, why don't we steal more scrolls that way we'll have less competition in the finals" Sasuke reasoned but naruto spoke up "both are good ideas but we should go with sakuras, and if you want Sasuke we can take some scrolls on the way there that way we can incorporate both and while we're at it we can get some extra training done" he turned to his team-mates who all nodded agreeing with his plan

After almost 5 fucking hours of jumping around, they finally found a team with a heaven scroll, beating them was easy but naruto still felt bad so he grabbed a bunch of leaves and hid them under it incase some shithead wanted to steal their stuff

"from what I can tell...the tower is far af so let's find a place to camp," Sasuke said "once the sun sets we will, try and save time will you" sakura winked and jumped away, Sasuke scoffed and naruto giggled, a few more hours went by before naruto's head shot up

"I smell snake"

"What?"Sasuke looked at naruto confused

"Hippity hoppity boo, he smells an Orochimaru" sakura finished her small rhyme before a huge snake came crashing down seemingly aiming to flatten our blond "WHOA WTF?!" Naruto flipped backwards and landed on a tree branch "shit, activate the chakra concealment seals!" naruto yelled out to his friends, they did as they were told & Sasuke lifted up his hoodie and put his palm on his hip and focused chakra into a small weird symbol that looked like a dot, it glowed and then faded back to black, sakura put her thumb on her neck and the same effect happened, naruto touched the back of his hand and once again the seal glowed and faded, the so-called grass-nin lady (who everybody already knows is Mr pedo) seemed to have not noticed the seals activating and had no idea what they were doing but continued on sending his snakes after them, "Sasuke the last Uchiha how lucky, it would be my honour if you would join me" the lady spoke

"Oh fuck Nah" Sasuke yelled back, under no circumstances was he going with this lady, sure he likes snakes but this lady took it to a whole new level, he activated his Sharingan and dodged a barge of upcoming attacks, "yup definitely not chunin this lady is a high jounin!" naruto yelled and dodged the snake that was trying to eat him "dont eat me! eat Sasuke he's wayyyyy tastier!"

"Oi!"

"Both of you for the love of God stop arguing and run for your virginities!" sakura yelled

"I second that!"

"Thirded!"

They began to retreat before the grass lady stuck out her long gross tongue and quickly wrapped it around Naruto and Sasuke "shit, shit, shit, shit!" naruto and Sasuke cursed while they struggled but her grip was firm "if Sasuke won't willingly I'll just force him to, may as well play around with the jinchuruki" she hissed as she lifted naruto's jacket up revealing his seal almost tattoo-like on his stomach "ahhh! What are you doing?!" he was definitely scared, and his seal was out in the open, the lady's neck stretched and hovered over Sasuke where she bit him on the neck, "AHHHH!" he yelled in pain as a burning sensation made its way to his neck, it felt as if someone had used his own fire phoenix jutsu and was continuously using it on his neck, he passed out and she turned to naruto, naruto was quiet after watching what happened to his team mate, he started struggling again as her head hovered over to him, he needed to get away and help sasuke, two arms that had also been stretched from her body hovered over making a strange hand sign "sealing technique...5 pronged seal!" she slammed her hand onto naruto's stomach causing him to yell out in pain as he slowly felt himself losing consciousness "hehe let's see how this turns out" he heard the lady hiss as he felt himself being dropped and landing on the hard ground, he saw sasuke hit the ground as well before completely blacking out 

"maybe ill jusst take the jinchuruki, get a bit of chakra for myself eh?" the lady reached out to grab naruto

sakura who had been fending off another huge snake came rushing towards them and grabbed both of them by the scruff of cloth behind there necks and leapt away and sprinted as fast as she could away from the pedo, Orochimaru didn't even sense her which was odd but left it alone, he knew his plan was going to work, there are no flaws in his work.

(two chapters in a day?! danggggggg son)