On the Side of Insanity (A Sander Sides Fanfiction)

1. The Flatmates

Logan flipped a page in his book and took another sip of his bitter coffee. Over the rim of his cup he watched his flat mate Patton fill out a small stack of papers as he chewed on some crustless toast with a thick layer of grape jam on top. It was Logan's jam but he had allowed Patton to get into it, only because Patton had had a late night and Logan knew that Patton would probably get him another jar later.

Roman, another faltemate, suddenly zipped into the kitchen and snatched a sausage off Logan's plate. He riffled through cupboards frantically as he stuffed it in his mouth. Logan had learned not to care about his flatmates stealing his food but he was still a bit disgruntled.

"If you've lost your sanity again, I don't think you'll find it up there," Logan snarked.

"Where are the lemons?" Roman ignored him.

"I ate the last one yesterday." Virgil seemed to apparate into the room.

Roman pulled his head out of the cupboard. "You what?"

"I ate the last one."

"You ate it."

"Yeah. Like an orange. It's good for you."

Everyone paused what they were doing to look at their dark flatmate with a mix of respect and fear. Virgil pretended not to notice as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I'll pick a few up during my lunch break," ever the peacemaker Patton offered.

"Thank you, Patton," Roman ran his hand through his hair. "I have an audition today and my throat feels terrible."

"Are you sick?" Logan asked.

"No, but it still doesn't feel good."

Roman was a performer at the local theater but recently hadn't been getting the roles he would have preferred. He was currently in the middle of a tech week for a play where he played a dog. He hated it but only complained to his flatmates. He was vying to get a lead role in this new play the theater was prepping to put on: the Odd Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

"Take a deep breath, Roman. You'll do great!" Patton assured.

"No he won't," Virgil debated in his mind whether he should eat or not. "He'll fall flat on his face as he walks up the steps. Then the directors will laugh and never take him seriously."

Roman moaned and buried his face in his hands.

"Virgil, that's not true," Patton put down his pen. "Also, there is an extra peace of toast on the counter there I made for you."

Virgil mumbled something that sounded like "Thanks, Dad" and spread some butter on the toast.

Logan checked his pocket watch and stood up. "Patton, we'll be late for work. And you need to open your office on time."

"It's Picani's turn today," Patton said, but started to put his papers into his briefcase anyway.

"Yes, but knowing Picani he probably will be late because he stayed up organizing his toy collection."

Patton tilted his head. "Granted."

The phone rang. Roman shot across the kitchen but Virgil was quicker and had already picked up the receiver.

"Hello? Yes, this is him... Mhm... Again?... Okay, I should be there in ten minutes." He hung up the ear peice.

"What was that about?" Logan asked.

"Not only did we have five old people brought in just in the past few days but now we have a murdered girl to plan a funeral for as well."

Virgil was a mortician. The thing he detested most about his job was the funerals for murdered people. He already didn't like being around crying people but at murder funerals always made him louder around the house for the rest of the week. Well, loud in his own way. He'd talk less but often you'd know where he was by the slamming doors and heavy footsteps that declared his presence.