@ heather :-)
/
why would you ever kiss me?
"lili." she calls in an angelic whisper, soothing me out of my idiotic thoughts. i think i replied her with a hum, that's why there's a pout on her lips then thinking again if would she want to kiss me.
geez, i'm not even half as pretty as him.
"girls night out? i miss you," she sighs.
"i think i do too," i hum, deep in thought. no actually, deep in my insecurities.
"you're not sure?" her pout intensified, now with a sound between a whimper and a hum, making me lose every ounce of sanity. i think i'm getting warmer.
"i miss you." i clarified, knowing i'd do anything to make her happy even if i'm no longer her happiness.
but was i ever?
she kisses my cheek, and bids me goodbye.
i really miss her.
/
i watch her walk with him towards the exit of the campus, hand holding showing how much they owned each other to anyone that walks by. she puts her arm 'round his waist and was the last thing i saw that day.
i breath out heavily, trying to shake of the freeze in my body. january has never felt colder.
how could i ever hate him? he's such an angel. he makes you smile. he makes you love. he makes your world brightest.
but then again, i wish he were dead as he walks by, brighter than a seoul sky. he got you mesmerized.
while i die.
/
"why would jennie ever kiss me?" i ask myself every night, connecting patters and puzzles that don't make sense. imaging fake scenarios and hurting my own feelings. but it's okay. it's just a crush on my best friend.
it'll be gone soon. i wouldn't let it bloom. bu then again, will i even get to control my feelings?
/
"i'm not even that pretty," i whisper, clutching my shirt tightly, wishing i was in another alternate universe right now. somewhere i'm not as sad as i am, somewhere i think jennie could feel the same way as i am. it wasn't even that deep, (yet) but i'm afraid it might go on and on till there's blood ripping out of this love.
i feel jennie's caresses halted, just laying there on my back, the fabric of her sweater keeping me warm. i watch her eyes sparkle in a dazzling way, something that makes me drool. i smile unconsciously, feeling giddy. only if she knew how much i liked her.
but then i realized, there was something - someone, giving her this twinkling eyes. so i watch her eyes as he walks by, what a sight for sore eyes. brighter than a seoul sky, got jennie mesmerized, while i die.
why would jennie ever kiss me, knowing i'll never be pretty in her eyes.
she was just there, in her pretty body, in her pretty eyes, and her pretty mouth, watching him walk to the exit of campus. jennie's sweater's digging unto my skin, getting tighter and tighter and tighter, until i couldn't breath.
i think it was december the third.
/
this was a soooo shorty flop & i feel too much on this so this is the product of it + someone stop me from making a full-length au based on heather then ghosting it later on LOL.
