— you never really see the worth of someone 'til they're gone, isn't it? good thing jennie almost lost lisa.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"jennie-unnie," lisa called, causing jennie to jump like a kitten when seen a cucumber. lisa who was shocked at jennie's expression and soon realizing what she had caused, blocks her mouth with her hand whilst clutching her aching stomach to halt herself from laughing too much.
jennie on the other hand, chants prayer rituals while hitting the nonexistent ghost with a...plastic spoon. lisa lets go, laughing as silent as she can to the poor kitty. "unnie it's just me."
"lalisa! you just can't barge in like that!" jennie whisper-yells, pointing accusing fingers at the taller woman. lisa went along, surrendering her hands in the air. "sorry miss officer, i swear i didn't made that she-kitten pee her pajamas-"
"hey hey you're bullying me!"
"hey hey you're bullying me!" lisa mimics, making faces. jennie giggles, mouthing, "you're an idiot", and tells lisa to follow her. it gave jennie a sense of comfort and importance, that she was someone lisa respected and cared for. someone special. lisa trailed along with her.
they make it to lisa's bedroom.
"what are we..."
"do you want to sleep?" jennie asks cutely, wondering why she was being cute, and concludes it's just how she is with the members, and asks the youngest once again. "do you want to sleep?"
"together?"
"yeah! we did that during trainees so it's not much if a big deal...right?" jennie was starting to think it was a bad idea to share a blanket with her lisa.
"no...i'm not really sleepy yet. netflix?" lisa drags jennie to her bed, jennie tries to hide her victory smile.
"lisa-ya how about we try riverdale? i heard it's nice..."
"let's try that, jen."
they decided to sleep when the sun greeted them good morning. (lisa kissed jennie on the forehead, but jennie doesn't know. she don't have to.)
"jennie!!" lisa chirped excitedly, entering jennie's door without permission, excitement blossoming exuding her presence; a lego set clutched in between her chest. she didn't notice the gloomy atmosphere clouding around jennie's room, only did she when she hears her muffled cries. she drops the box immediately, settling herself in front of the older girl.
"jen, what's wrong?" lisa asks with so much concern, breaking jennie further. she shakes her head, fisting the fabric of her shirt to say she needs only herself, howbeit she missed lisa so much and she has always been there. and it's actually just her and the two other girls who appreciated and loved her entire being, vulnerability and everything underneath.
"go." jennie says, icy and dark, but lisa stands her ground.
"not until you tell me what's been hurting you."
jennie thinks it's partially lisa, but she's convinced it's actually jongin. jennie prepares to tell lisa that and as always, lisa waits for her.
"my nini," lisa whispers behind jennie's ear, arousing goosebumps all over jennie's skin. jennie gives lisa an eye smile and lisa returns the affection with a kiss on the cheek, apologizing for the lip taint and kissing them again. lisa said she can not get over her dumplings, and teasing her to death when she sees her dumpling cheeks turn bright red.
"hey, i'm not blushing. it's the taints from your lipstick." jennie reasoned, lisa sniggers at her denial. "i am not convinced," she retorts, giggling.
all of a sudden, jennie's feet stopped touching the ground, arms encircled around lisa's neck on instinct, squealing as she realized she's being carried to her bed. lisa drops her not-so-gently, and apologizes.
"you don't have to say sorry all the time." jennie says, and lisa quickly apologized, and apologized again for accidentally apologizing.
"pft, idiot." jennie stares deep into lisa's eyes and instead of galaxies she sees a beautiful soul.
"lisa...when you confessed you needed space away from me, why?" lisa was thankful jennie didn't pressure her with follow-up questions and just nodded her head before, but she knew it wouldn't last nor be kept a secret for long. everything that lisa kept about jennie was a revelation, because maybe everything about jennie was made to be shouted to the world – someone to be proud of. someone to be valued for. someone to love.
"hm?" jennie draws imaginary things on lisa's sleeve, waiting patiently for the other. jennie knows it deep down, that there is more to them that friendship. that somewhere on the way she has stopped treating lisa like a best friend, she still does, but she knows just best friends don't look at each other like that. there was always more to them that they never spoke of, never dared; choosing to stay friends instead, with affections almost lovers do.
"i mean...you can say i tried. really hard.." lisa mutters, looking for the right words to profess what she've kept in her heart for so long.
"i was contented with watching you from afar. just there giving you everything i can, with limits, boundaries. only i had hesitations when he called you yours because come on, it was game over to me. i knew it was a losing game before i ever entered. but i'm not saying it's a game, okay? it's a metaphor-"
"it's okay, lili." jennie mumbles, soothing and stirring lisa's senses. jennie continues doodling on her best friend's sleeve.
"so i distanced myself. i had to get over you somehow, although i know it's impossible since we're living in the same roof, and you are just - everywhere - it was so impossible."
jennie went curious at the pause, searching for hesitations from lisa's doe eyes, furrowing her brows from her sudden change of heart.
"i love you."
jennie feels like her heart's been giving room for flowers ever since, she just feels it now. she feels like they're mutating and blossoming and blooming and bursting from her chest, the vines crawling everywhere - she can't breath - blossoming and blooming and bursting and growing - she clutches lisa's shoulder and when she looks at her eyes, it's the sunlight she sees. she remembers how to breath.
"i'm so proud i get to love you." she holds lisa tight, letting her sentiments strip every layer of defenses she have worn, and lets lisa see who she truly is, again, and again, and again, and again till lisa grows tired of her. but she thinks she never will.
"i can't wait for you to be the first one i see when i wake up," lisa says, smiling through tear stained cheeks and red nose. jennie kisses her, pours everything out, and tells her she loves her again. and again, and again, and again, and again till lisa grows tired of it. but she thinks she never will.
