Life in Death

3. Decisions to be made

I was lying on something soft and slightly cool, surrounded by soothing warmth. For a second I was sure I was back home and in my bed. Slowly my memory came back. I remembered passing out when Arwen and the other elf arrived. After that it was only a few images flooding into my mind. I could remember being on a horseback, racing through some light forest, water, the black riders chasing us. The last thing I could recall was me almost falling from the horse.

I fought to open my eyes. It hurt, there was too much light in the mostly white room. It took me several minutes to get used to the brightness invading my vision until I could see clearly. Sitting up carefully I realized I was lying in a bed with white silken sheets. Same as my vision my mind seemed to clear and I started to remember more clearly what had happened.

'We know what you are...' A cold shiver ran down my spine, the cold scratching voice carved into my brain. I remembered the excruciating pain in my arm and my whole body. I started to panic as memories came flooding back. I grasped the tight bandages covering my right arm and tried ripping them of in my frenzy.

"Don't." A heavy body dropped down next to me and gripped my arms apart. I looked up with tears already clouding my vision and was faced with Striders' worried eyes. I was unable to speak, I just lost it. All the confusion, exhaustion and pain of the last couple of weeks tumbling down on me at once. He pulled me into a firm hug the same second I started crying and shaking with heavy sobs. He just sat there on the edge of my bed and had my head tucked under his chin while my tears soaked his shirt. It seemed like a lifetime until I finally started to calm down, still he kept me close. And even if he said he didn't trust me just a couple of days ago, I felt safe in his embrace. A safety I hadn't felt since my father left our family, he used to hug me just like this whenever nightmares would keep me from sleeping. I slowly pulled away from him, rubbing at the remaining tears on my cheeks.

"Why are you here? Remember saying you don't trust me?" He answered with soft voice and eyes still sitting next to me.

"I didn't trust you then. I still don't know what to make of that fairy tale about where you are from. But you tried to safe the Halfling at the expense of your own life. An enemy would have revealed himself at that moment or would have fled the scene. You did neither." I couldn't stand looking at him. I tried to help and failed. I could have gotten them killed by intervening. I almost got myself killed. Again...

"How are you feeling?" He carefully grabbed my right arm and started to loosen the bandages.

"There is a dull pain in my arm and my throat feels sore. Shouldn't my arm burn like hell? It sure did when that Wraith stabbed me. It felt like fire burning inside my veins." He lightly shook his head as he pulled away the rest of the fabric. I swallowed heavily. There was a large amount of fresh scar tissue and bloody crusts on the inner side of my arm, surrounded by a dark ring and from there like vines stretched dark lines all around my forearm. They looked like ink against my pale skin and I slowly closed my eyes, not able to look at it anymore.

"It is the magic of Lord Elrond that keeps the pain down. He put you into a deep healing sleep for two weeks, to give your body and mind time to rest and start healing. I cannot tell you if you will lose those marks or if they will taint your skin for life. There is hardly anyone who survived a Morgul-blade." My stomach tightened upon his words though they held no malice.

"I must leave now. But I will send for someone to bring you food and help you dress. Now that you are awake Lord Elrond will want to meet with you." Strider got back to his feet but before he could fully turn away I grabbed his hand, refusing him to leave me alone. He looked at me, expecting me to say something. I didn't say anything for I didn't know how to tell him that I didn't want him to leave me alone with my thoughts.