The Broken

V.

As my eyes locked with gold ones my whole world stopped, I felt my heart clench, followed by a creeping coldness that gripped my body in a crippling hold, twisting my face into a picture of raw pain and anger before closing down into a perfect mask of indifference for the Unseelie standing in the room.

Tarken, taking notice of the change, tenses.

"You know him?" He asks in a low voice and drops his arm over my shaking form, hiding my vulnerability. The action not going unnoticed by Azrael, drawing a faint growl from him.

My thoughts were racing and tumbling over each other, I didn't know what to say.

I wanted to scream and shout at him, to cry and run into his arms, to ask him where he has been, and how he got the new scars mapped across his face.

But I did none of that, I couldn't. As I looked at him, I couldn't help but notice that his soft jaw and cheeks had been sharpened by manhood, his once short hair had grown into a dark, lush main, his black skin painted with new scars and his golden eyes that I adored, golden eyes that held as much emotions as I felt, seemed older and more haunted. He no longer wore dirty rags and had a lanky frame.

Now his body seemed barely contained by his leather trousers and white cotton shirt that had an open v shaped collar, showing off scars and tribal tattoos creeping up his neck, identical to Ragnars. He had a sword strapped to his muscular back and several short knives decorating his boots. I had no doubt he had many more hidden. Now standing at the same height as Ragnar, I could no longer see the young boy i onced loved in this cold warrior standing before me.

With all my strength I buried my emotions deep in the darkest corners of my mind and locked them there.

Rattling chains.

Blood pooling on the floor.

Cold golden eyes.

"No" I finally choked out coldly "I don't know him. He must have mistaken me for someone else" And i realised that was true, standing before me was a complete stranger

Tarken tightened his hold on me, now the only thing keeping me from falling apart. Azrael tensed, the softness in his eyes dissipates, rapidly replaced by a mirror image of my expression. Causing betraying tears to escape my hold and shimmer over my eyes.

"Lillian are you alright?" Osoe asked, cutting the thick tension like a knife. I quickly turned to him, wanting to hide my loose emotions. But not before seeing the confusion on Azraels face at the mention of my fake name.

"Yes I am quite alright" I answered tightly, giving Osoe a forced smile, thanking the gods my voice wasn't shaky. His eyes darkened, seeing through it.

"Well I must be going." I said, trying to fill the awkwardness and turned to Ragnar who had stayed silent and tense since I had stepped into the room.

"I am very sorry for interrupting. It won't happen again" I said quickly and ran out of there as fast as I could before they saw the defying tears running down my cheeks and noticed my trembling knees.

As soon as the door closes behind me I collapse on the floor and cover my mouth with my shaking hands to stop the sob from breaking out. I Finally let the tears fall freely to the point that my body shook.

That's how Sam, who had been nearby waiting for me, found me.

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After taking me to my room, Sam gave me an herbal tea that tasted bitter and had a black hue to it that would calm me down. I of course made him taste it before I drank it in case he was trying to knock me out again. He wasn't.

"Are you feeling better?"

He asked gently as I set the cup down, now empty, and burrowed under my covers, finally letting a sigh of relief out, the warmth under the blanket wrapped around me in a comforting hug. I nodded.

After a couple of minutes he finally sighed defeatedly and placed a hand on top of the blanket where my head was.

"You're going to be okay Lillian. We are here to hear you when you're ready, you know that right?"

I nodded once again as a fresh set of tears started to drip onto my mattress. Before the darkness took me I heard Sams retrieving footsteps followed by a door closing.

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"Lillian."

"Lillian wake up" Kat's light voice pulled me from my slumber. I groggily opened my eyes and met Kats slitted grey ones that were heavy with sadness and concern.

"You didn't come to dinner so I brought you some food" she said as she set a plate of fruit on my bedside table with a rustling of her pale green, cotton dress.

I hugged her gratefully. "Thank you."

Her minty scent calmed my racing heart as i realised i didn't have to go down there and face him. When we pulled apart I reached for the plate of food as she settled next to me and started eating as fast as I could, completely famished as I hadn't eaten since breakfast.

After I finished licking the sweetness off my fingers and set the plate down, Kat finally broke the comfortable silence by grabbing me by the shoulders.

"Snap out of it" I look at her with wide eyes.

"W-what?"

"Snap out of it" she said again with a serious face. "If that is who I think it is, he doesn't deserve your tears so snap out of it!"

"You don't underst-"

"I do understand Lillian, I do. And I know how hard it is, I know you're absolutely terrified to go down there and see him after what he has done. But hiding in your room is giving him the win. So snap out of it because you haven't lost a thing, you are not broken, and you won't let his actions ruin your life and stop you from having fun!"

By this point her voice was a few pitches higher and she was shaking me aggressively. I didn't know whether to cry or laugh.

"Okay?" she asked with hints of desperation, lacing her voce.

"Okay. " I responded with a weak smile, returned by a big smile and a bone crushing.

"Now it's a shame that nobody is swimming in the lake in this beautiful full moon, and it's an ever bigger shame that I'm going to have to prohibit anyone from coming to your room and leave you here all alone and unguarded for the night."

She said with a sly smile and mirth in her eyes. Her implication clear as she grabs the empty plates and starts leaving.

"Have fun" she whispers unapologetically with hints of mischief and with a final wink shuts the door quietly.

Gratefulness and excitement course through me, drawing a giggle from my mouth as I race to the window and start tugging it open.

Kat always knows what I need. I always found that amazing, how in every situation she knows exactly what to do and keeps me away from that dark place my mind tends to go when my past comes up.

I finally pry the window open, letting the fresh aroma of the dewy grass fill my lungs before jumping out and dropping down onto the grass covered ground with a light thud.

I stayed crouching there for a few seconds making sure there was nobody around and letting my elation grow when nothing came out of the shadows. I quickly stand up and brush off my hands, only to be stopped by a familiar, deep voice.

"You broke your promise." 

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