*ON HAITUS* Unknown. || h.s

Fifteen.

...

"Do you know when they're getting back?" I ask while we wait for our food, my eyes wandering aimlessly around the space, falling on other diners and their plates.

We ended up at the same restaurant Zayn, Harry and I went to on my first day at Parker.  I haven't been back here since, but the memory of the tension that was obviously felt between the two boys still lingers in the back of my mind.  Being sat at the same table with just Zayn gives the feeling that this is an incomplete scene, the last player missing.  I'm left on edge, waiting for the door to slam open and all heads to turn toward the commotion only to find a curly haired man with brilliant green eyes standing with a snarl on his lips. 

I avert my eyes back to Zayn, the daydream too vivid to deal with when I know Harry is too far from me to play it out.  Guilt begins to rise in my throat knowing he wouldn't be pleased to find that I'm out to lunch with Zayn, and once again I'm in need of a reminder that it doesn't matter what he thinks anymore.

"Who?" Zayn asks, his dark eyebrows furrowing.

"Gemma and Harry," I say slowly, watching as his face lights up in comprehension.  "From England, I mean."

"Right, right," Zayn nods, his glass pressing to his lips before setting it back down on the table.  "Sorry, I almost forgot she left," he frowns, his bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.

"But, she'll be back soon," I remind him, trying to lighten the mood more for my own sake than his.  "In fact," I fold my arms on the table, "they'll be back on..."

"Thursday,"  Zayn finishes for me, answering my question with a small smile on his face to replace the frown.  Not only the answer of Harry being less than a week away but the soft curve of Zayn's perfectly pink lips bring a grin to my face as well.

"See? Less than a week, no time at all," I confirm and he laughs quietly, the sound brightening my grin.

"Yeah, but what am I meant to do while she's gone?" He wonders aloud, his eyes downcast and not really looking at anything.  His thoughts seem to reflect my own, and it's then that I see exactly just how enchanted we each are with a Styles.

"Don't a bunch of your friends usually go out to that bar on Fridays?" I offer and he looks up at me, an amused smirk forming on his face.

"Yeah, we do," he says slowly, leaning on his elbow. "I'm surprised you remember since you haven't been out with us since before you and Harry got together."

I suddenly feel guilty for an entirely different reason than before, my cheeks heating up as Zayn continues to mock me with his eyes and the smirk on his lips.  I was only just contrite about repelling what Harry would want, but now I'm remorseful for feeling just that, for allowing him to have a hold on me so tight that I can hardly move.

It should have been clear to me that I've neglected other people since Harry came back into my life.  Aside from being at work, I don't really see much of anyone.  It occurs to me that I don't have any real friends besides Niall and Zayn.  The rest of the people I spend my time with I consider family, but even then I do not see them as often as I should.

I sigh as I look back at Zayn, silently apologizing to him for getting carried away in my relationship, and feeling regretful for becoming what I never wanted to become.  Without realizing it, Harry and I have reverted back to our old patterns when we would hide away with one another for days on end. 

As if he can read my mind, Zayn smiles soflty and says, "You should come out with us tonight, get to know the group a bit better.  Niall still comes along."

I smile and give him a small nod just as our food arrives.  Relief that I am being allotted a second chance to undo choices I made unconsciously rolls through me until I cannot stop smiling and have to hold in my laughter while Zayn chats on.  My cheeks are sore but I welcome it, the slight discomfort a sign that I am making decisions for myself.