*ON HAITUS* Unknown. || h.s

Eighteen.

...

"I'm sorry."

As soon as I open the door the words have left his lips, his bright blue eyes begging for forgiveness.  His eyebrows are pulled together and his blonde hair is a mess, his fingers having combed through it over again.  His eyes search my face frantically for some sign that I've heard him and have understood what he's said.

"I know," I tell him, not having reason to doubt that he truly is sorry.

Relief flushes through his cheeks, his shoulders dropping.  I hold the door open more so he can step through.  I don't miss that he's fidgeting, his hands buried in his pockets and playing with whatever is lying at the bottom.  He's bouncing on the balls of his feet, unable to keep still.

This might be more of an ordeal to him than I thought it was.  I may not be the only person distressed over our potentially broken bond.  Niall may rely on me as much as I rely on him, my friendship as important to him as his is to me.

A warmth spreads through my center and the corners of my lips lift.  I try to hide my content that this is not all protocol and that he genuinely wants to talk it over with me to mend whatever was cracked.  Something had to be wrong for him to keep such a big secret from me especially when everyone else knew.  Whatever it may be, I'm regaining faith that he would never hurt me purposefully.

"Um, can I get you something, man?" Zayn offers, clearing the tension some.

"No, no... Actually, yeah, that'd be great," Niall replies, his cheeks glowing slightly.

"Sure," Zayn chuckles with a small smile.  "You two go have a seat, I'll be over in a minute."

We both nod and obey, making our way silently toward to sofas.  I am extremely glad that Zayn is here.  Were it just me, we'd still be standing awkwardly by the door.  Zayn always takes charge and knows exactly what to say and do.  I'm glad I asked him to stick around, I might need him for more than just comfort.

Niall sits in the arm chair while I sit on the sofa and I frown, half expecting him to sit next to me.

"You're so far," I comment and he shurgs, looking at me with big apologetic eyes.

"I don't know," he shrugs awkwardly.  "I figured you'd want some space like you do when you're upset."

"I was upset —" I start and his eyebrows shoot up in disbelief.  I roll my eyes and start again.  "Okay, I still am upset, but not nearly as much as I was last night.  I'm more confused than angry, Nialler.  I just don't get why you'd keep something like this from me.  Harry and I even asked you if you were seeing anyone and you didn't even mention Zoey.  Did you not think we'd be happy for you or something?"

"No, that's not it, not at all," he shakes his head and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. 

I sit quietly and wait for an explanation, but he only wrings his hands together and looks at his feet.  I wait for something, but he says nothing at all.  I cannot see his eyes so I have no idea what he's thinking.  I've never been so disconnected from him.  There's a sinking in my stomach and the air grows cold around me as I realize how much space is between us.

I shift to the edge of the couch closest to the chair he's sat in.  "Niall," I say quietly and he looks up to meet my eyes, but his are blank.  "Why didn't you tell me?  Or Harry?"

I hold his gaze and he stares at me blankly for a short while before letting a sigh leave his lips.  He leans back in the chair and his body deflates as he exhales.

"I would have told you about her when I met her, but at that point I hadn't heard from you in over a year so I didn't bother," he mumbles and I recoil at the reminder that as soon I left for LA, I left him behind with everything else.  "When you came back I was more worried about you and I really didn't think it was significant that I was still talking to Zoey.  There was always something happening with you and Harry or your families that it just wasn't something important at the time."