Haunted (Percy Jackson fanfic)

Chapter 14

"No, it's not." I fired back at Jason, who looked beyond shocked, and I turned back at Annabeth, who was also surprised. "Your right." I said quietly. "And you have every right to speak your mind." I said, making sure my voice didn't falter. As much as I wanted to run, and do the final thing on the list, I couldn't.

"Perseus." Chiron said quietly, and I shook my head at him.

"My past isn't an excuse, neither is my moms or Paul's deaths, there's no excuse for anything I've done since the ghosts showed up. I became mean and inconsiderate, I knew I needed help, and when I got it, I pushed it away. Along with that, I do act like I'm tougher than I am, I've gotten so caught up in being camp leader, that I thought I couldn't be afraid, I couldn't be weak. And I know I'm stupid and I know I deserve hell." I sighed nervously.

"Truth is, I do deserve everything the fates tossed my way these last few years, the wars, the deaths, losing you when I lost my memories." I chuckled nervously, looking at my feet. "I deserve you yelling at me, I deserve getting beat half to death by all of you, I deserved what the ghosts have done, because I lied to everyone here about so much." I sighed.

"What's that in your hand?" Thalia asked.

"It's the note the ghosts gave me of things I have to do to get rid of them, there's only one left." I said nervously, unfolding the paper and held it up for everyone to see.

"Who'd you hurt?" Annabeth asked, and I looked at her for a good second.

"You. I realized I messed up, so so badly." I said, avoiding eye contact.

"Why'd the kill someone one cross off?" Leo asked curiously, looking at the note closely.

"All it took was me realizing something."

"And what was that?" Piper asked. Was was slightly mad at me for what I said to Annabeth, which I understand.

"I was becoming like Gabe, way deep in my memories, when I first met him, he was a decent guy, small drinking problem, but that was it. He was a good guy until things started getting worse and his problems got worse, he became verbally abusive but then it became physical." I explained.

"But that doesn't explain why'd it take it off the list." Clarisse scoffed and I shook my head, telling her she was wrong.

"It sort of does. It helped me realize that nobody is born a bad person, something pushes them off the edge to the point where they can't bother being good anymore, and that's what almost happened to me." I sighed lightly and they nodded.

"What's the last one on the list?" Hazel asked dreadfully, she knew what is was, everyone does.

"All I have to do now is kill myself." I said quietly, looking at my feet, but Thalia's gasp confused everyone, and she pointed at the paper in my hand, the writing was changing. I refused to look at it, fear overtook me, what if it was worse than before?

"Read it!" Piper said enthusiastically, almost trying to peak at the paper.

"Number 6: Get over addiction

I gasped, my hand covering my mouth as tears sprung in my eyes, not in sadness, but in relief. "Thank the gods." I huffed, covering my tears with my hands. Everyone celebrated happily, but that wasn't all that was written on it. "Wait, there's more?" I said curiously.

"If you relapse, I'll come back, and there will no be getting rid of me." I gulped, and everybody stopped celebrating, all looking like this would be the end of the world.

"Then you just don't relapse." Annabeth smiled, although it was clear that her fear was weighing her down. She thought she had to be the one that stayed strong, didn't she? But I was exhausted, I was still slightly sobering up, but now I have to stay off of the alcohol and drugs, or else there's no getting rid of him, there's no escaping, if I kill myself he'll go after my friends.

"Yeah." I mumbled nervously, what if I do? Would he ever just leave me alone? I don't want to have to go back to facing my past, the alcohol and the drugs helped me stop worrying about all that's happened, past and present, I almost feel like it's helped me more than anything else, even the self harm. Now, I can't forget, I have to deal with my trauma, but no, I won't go see anyone about it, my business is my own and I don't need to bother anything else.

"Perseus?" Chiron asked with a raised eyebrow, noticing I was just standing there while everyone else was excited, at least until they noticed I wasn't.

"Hm?" I asked, coming back to reality, where I noticed everyone giving me either confused or concerned looks, probably because I wasn't excited about Gabe changing the note.

"What's wrong, you don't have to kill yourself to get rid of Gabe anymore, I thought you'd be more excited?" Annabeth asked worriedly, grabbing my hand comfortingly, and I sighed.

"But he's still here until I get over my addiction, and if I relapse, there's no getting rid of him, not even if I die, he'll just torment you guys." I sighed tiredly, rubbing my face as if it would help me wake up, but it didn't, I knew it wouldn't, I'm to exhausted for anything to help.

"You're just overthinking it, you should get some rest kelp for brains." Thalia said teasingly are the end, but I didn't smile nor laugh, I just silently walked into my cabin, staring at the mess it became since the beginning of this, I don't like it much since it got destroyed, although it was restored to just how it was, but I can see how bad things got for me over the weeks the ghosts have been here, but I can't change the past. The panic attacks, the drinking, the popping pills, the self harm, all of it, I can't erase any of it, and the thought angered me more than I thought.

I grabbed a beer bottle and opened it, but I stopped in my tracks, I have to stop, to get rid of Gabe so camp can go back to how it was before. Without much thinking, I whipped the bottle again the wall, and shattered loudly, spilling all of the contents inside of it. But my anger didn't seize, I threw more bottles, I threw furniture, I threw prized possessions and clothes until I calmed down, falling to my knees and looking at the mess I created, in my cabin and on my head.

I was lost.