Save Our Sorry Selves

Chapter 3

Monday

30 minutes before

The bell rang, meaning it was now third hour. I shuffled out of English, into the hallway of oceans of students. I felt really good. Not just because of the pills. Because Peter had talked me into staying over at his house tonight to play some video games. Grand Theft Auto and Halo. His blond hair glistened under the artificial lights as he talked and talked nonstop about how much I sucked at video games.

"Dude, you suck so hard, you could probably suck that kids balls over there." He pointed at an overweight boy who looked too excited to even be at school. "Yea. I would suck his balls so hard that he would turn skinny." I said way louder than I meant to. The rest of the group was behind us. The chubby kid must have heard even over the laughter and yelling and footsteps because he gave us a glare that made me very uncomfortable. His beady black eyes seemed to be staring right through me, as if he knew something that no one else did. About Percy. About my depression. About me being a liar. 

The laughter from Riley shook me out of my paranoia. "Why are you looking back at him we don't look at people who look like they just shitted their pants for that long." She grinned. God, Riley was beautiful. She was my best female friend. Her long black hair reached the small of her back, silky as ever. Her bronze skin made mine seem pale and hideous. "He just looked extra creepy that's all." "Oooooh! Atlas' got the hots for him!" Peter said in his obnoxious voice. 

We reached the locker rooms where we parted ways to other classes too. Only Riley, Peter and I had this class together. I walked up to my light blue locker and brought out my ugly pair of white running shoes. The color, brand, everything about the shoe had to be the same as the coach's. For some reason Mrs. Spears couldn't have gotten us to match with her any uglier shoe than this. Our whole uniform had to be white as well, and so did our shoes. But the shoes were the part the coach got to put a little twist on every year, whatever she wanted. Yea, ugly shoes was a strong passion of mine.

I pulled off my gray collared shirt with white polka dots and toss it in the locker. To be fair, I didn't like changing in front of people. But in PE, Riley taught me its the only class we can show off our bodies in, so I would show off my skinny body. I wasn't trying to brag, I think I just wanted to prove to Riley that I'm as confident as she is. 

We meet Peter in the gym. On mile run days, we did co-ed. Peter looks attractive in his uniform. I'll admit it. His hair was always styled nice and cropped and combed. He was definitely a preppy boy. The story that I never even told Riley was, Peter had liked me. More than just friends. He confessed while we were swimming his pool for the first time. It was after a pool party he had, everyone left, and I was too embarrassed to go in with so many people there. But with just Peter there it was fine.

I remember we swam for hours laughing, splashing each other, wrestling, jumping in to see who made the biggest splash. We both were so out of air we were gasping for it in the middle of the pool swimming to stay afloat. My heart was beating so fast it seemed like it was making ripples in the water. We stared at each other, smiles on our faces. His blue eyes on my green. I thought he looked handsome. And that's when he leaned in. His breath inches from my mouth. I didn't process what was happening until he kissed me hard on the lips, grasping my shoulders. I immediately pulled away.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I practically screamed. "I.... I thought you wanted me to kiss you." He replies shyly. Oh... that smile must have been the thing that deceived him. "No! No. Sorry I have to go." I swam to the steps leading in the pool. "Wait! I've liked you for a long time Atlas. I think you're incredibly smart and funny and you have a good heart. You make me laugh way more than I do myself, and I'm hella funny." He said with a smirk. I smiled. "So, will you go out with me?" My smile immediately faded."I'm so sorry Peter, but I don't think it would ever work out." "Why not? Tell me." "It just won't" "So, do you think I would ever have a chance with you then?" I close my eyes and try to picture us. We would just be friends, except with some kissing. Was that how all relationships were? I open them and sigh. "I don't so Peter. I'm sorry." I got in my car soaking my seat, not bothering to even dry myself with a towel. It was So Cal. The weather was always nice.

I chose not to tell anyone. He never told me not to, but I would assume he wanted his lil confession private. "So we gonna get this over with or what?" Peter said too cheery. Mrs. Spears shouted go and started her timer. I wasn't athletic at all, but when it came to running, I was a star. I was the fastest girl and third fastest person. Of course the two football players in our class would be faster. Brian Stalk and Jowen Hendrix. My agility made me able to weave through the students so fast I was passing them up again. Jowen's dirty blond hair whooshed past me in an instant. We never mentioned or straight up said we didn't like each other or that we were competing in everything, it was spoken indirectly. I saw a tiny playful smile on his lips when he passed me as  I groaned. I began to push against the ground harder, because that's what running was right? My feet were starting to ache. I pushed myself harder. Brian was a little closer than Jowen, only because Brian Stalk was stockier. His very muscular build made him the best defense the school has ever had. Jowen was muscular, but in a different way. He was quicker and light on his feet, making him the best wide receiver the school's ever had. I pushed harder until  I passed up Brian's bleach blonde hair. I heard him huffing and he seemed to slow knowing I had passed him. I gave myself an internal pat on the back.I whipped my head around for a split second to see where Peter and Riley were. They were slowly jogging laughing an pointing at me. Were they laughing at what had just happened? Were they laughing at me? Were they laughing at something completely different? Stop. Just stop.

I turned back around and focused on my goal. Taking down Jowen. He was probably ten feet away from me. I pushed harder than I have ever tried at the mile. I was not going to let him beat me once again. My feet ached with each step I took, yet I pressed on. My calves were on fire, along with my lungs, my head, and my heart. Five feet, four feet , three feet. I would beat this bastard once and for all. Two feet. I. Will. Win. One foot. Jowen turned to the side to see how near I was. But even though I had never thought his eyes were anything close to Percy's warm brown ones, I stopped breathing. Jowen's eyes became Percy's pleading that I don't pass him up. I choked on nothing. I staggered. "Percy" ran up ahead again. "6:35!" Mrs. Spears shouted. "6:41" She shouted again for me. 

I couldn't believe it. I failed. Once again. I was getting worse and worse. I saw him everywhere I went. Even in eyes that looked nothing like his! Especially at a time like this! I Looked at Jowen again. Brian and the other guys clapping him on the back. His eyes really did look nothing like Percy's.

"What happened you were so close to beating him!" Peter huffed. "Don't tell me his killer looks got to you too." Riley says disappointed. She had a huge crush on him, so she wouldn't want her friend to compete with her too. "Hell no. I just, I don't know what actually happened." I lied. Again. 

We all sat down Mrs. Spears reading off our times to try and motivate us to do better. She wanted to put other down so they can try harder for her class. She was a cold hearted bitch. "Alright lets start from best to worst." She listed Jowen, then me. The list went on and on. "Travis, then Michael." Who were the worst two people in the class? "I looked where everyone else was. They were staring at the two chubby boys. One was a freckled one, the other, the beady eyed kid. How have I never seen him before? He got up and asked Mrs. Spears to use the bathroom. "Ok Travis, be quick." He still seemed a bit happy. Why was he happy that he got humiliated?  He stood up and walked in between me and Peter. But as he walked past, something white fluttered to the ground. At Peter's feet. A piece of folded lined paper layed on its side. "OOO what's this?" "I wonder what secret he's got there?" I say inquisitively.

Peter had a playful smirk on his lips as he unfolded the paper. His eyes reading left to righ. His smile quickly fading. It didn't just fade, his face seemed to turn to horror. A realization must have sank in. "Peter was is it? What does it say? Is it a creepy picture?" But before he could answer, another voice did. 

"You shouldn't have looked at that. You were number 5. I'm afraid I have to make you my first kill." Travis pulled out a semi from the backpack in his hands. Everyone gasped. "You can't know the placement of the list." He pointed the barrel of the gun to Peter's head. He looked absolutely terrified. He slowly turned his head towards me. His sky blue eyes filled with fear he gulped. Then the the bullet ripped through the air, then ripped through the side of Peter's head. The screams began and became louder and louder. I know I should hide. I know I should scream. My best friend just died before my eyes. I was the last person he ever saw. But I couldn't take my eyes off his dead blue ones, they were still watery. I tried to scream, but nothing came out.