Kairen

| 3.5 |

                            | 3.5 |

In general, I don't give up when I really want something .  Of course, it was debatable whether this was good or bad.  But it was good for me;  I wouldn't get bored when I got something.  For the past two years I have been training myself not to be ungrateful to my wishes.  After all, what they said is that people are always ungrateful for what they have.  I was aware of what I had and I was trying to appreciate their value.  Only then was it more meaningful to want and obtain.  Otherwise it was nonsense to me.  You want something, you want it very much, you try hard for it and when you get it you get bored after a while.  This was customary yes, but I wanted to do something unusual.

I opened my laptop and searched the name of Ali Kaya on the internet.  Actually, I knew everything in combat life as much as I could, but I had to learn more.  Why did he suddenly stop fighting even though he had no disability?  Our passions were what made us who we were;  It was the things that connected us to life. How could a person give up his passion?

I knew him even though I did not know him closely, or chatted from his private life until the morning.  I had reviewed all of his interviews and watched their fight in the ring many times like a psychopath.  I would analyze his speeches in his interviews as if he was not enough;  I would pay attention to their facial expressions, whether they were really sincere in their answers or not.  So I would try to understand it.  I had a great admiration for him, and it was a myriad of curiosity.  Until a few days ago, this admiration was just a distant thing, now I could reach it ... I guess I couldn't find his address.

There were headlines all around, "Ali Kaya donated almost all of his wealth to the homeless, to those in need".  So I didn't think he continued to live with his old lifestyle.  If I went to the park where I saw him that day, would I meet him again?  Maybe it was where he went to listen to his head regularly every night, and after that he wouldn't be able to listen to me because I wasn't thinking of giving up until he agree to train me.

Why did he not want to train me?  After all, when people teach others what they know they would exist, right?

There were thousands of question marks circulating in my head.  And it was dark.  Something inside me nudged me to go to that park.  At least I should have tried my luck, right?

*.*

Because we were in the autumn, the air started to darken quickly;  Actually, it was not too late.  I left the house and came to this park, but Ali Kaya did not.  I suddenly felt that frustration began to wrap my entire body, but suddenly I shook my head.The parks seemed very abandoned at night.  But it didn't seem scary anymore to me;  neither at night, nor at night.  Nothing abandoned could be scary anyway

I took a deep breath and sat on the bench.  I took my phone out of my pocket, opened a random song and stood up softly.  My body needed to free itself, and I could free my body completely while dancing;  I could leave it alone.  While dancing, I didn't feel compelled to control my body with music ... Dancing was my passion, it was one of the things that made me.

I softly took off my jacket and put my phone on it.  I opened my arms first;  then I moved my legs.  I left my body in the arms of the music without thinking of a single moment.  Freedom ... Yes, freedom was that I was able to do my passions for me.

When I first started dancing, I didn't know myself;  I didn't know what I wanted to do, I was not aware of what I could do.  But after I continued to dance, I discovered that this is my passion.  Our passions would not find us anyway, we would find and discover them ...

I stopped when the song ended and I felt that my body was peaceful.  I smile involuntarily on my face;  While doing some things in the moment, being aware of what is happening at that moment was a whole another world.