Kairen

| 6.5 |

              | 6.5 |

The general of the society does not know what is going on, or even because they don't know that they don't know.
-Noam Chomsky

I took a deep breath while walking on the road;  I made sure that the paths I went to were not always the same when I was going to or returned to the fighter.  As I thought they were almost going to happen to me, it covered me with a little bit of fear, but that didn't take too long.  When I dragged my thoughts in another direction, this fear didn't last long.  I loved this mood;  I could quickly get rid of the negative energy that covered me.  I was able to manage my mind and decide how long some emotions would affect me.  I actually did this practically.  Something was not always happening all the time;  I really needed continuity and determination.

I was working only on myself to improve;  I was making the biggest investments to myself.  Because there was such a statement;  The best investment you can make is an investment in yourself.  As I grew up I was observing the mistakes of the people around me;  what they do, how they react.  So I was taking notes of some things and taking care not to make the same mistakes.  Only the lessons I learned from my own mistakes were not enough;  I should have learned from others' mistakes.

As the author says, we don't have enough time to make all the mistakes ourselves, so we had to learn from others' mistakes.  I was dealing with these at a very early age;  so I was actually trying to be the best version of myself.  So I could enjoy life and myself.  So I could be free and brave.

I started to approach the house;  I would go into the supermarket and buy some things to have breakfast in the morning.  I turned my head in the direction of the sound when I suddenly heard the sound.

I saw the woman, whom I thought was forty, forty-five years old, calling out to me.  Her light makeup was flowing and she was dressed in dark colors.  She was sitting on the bench and holding a cigarette and a lighter.  I could see that she was mentally tired even by just looking at her face;  when you look in the eyes of a person, you could already see everything.  But you had to see, not just look.  Everyone but everyone was looking, but nobody really wanted to learn to see.

"Beauty, do you have a lighter?"  the woman asked in a flat voice.

"No,I don't smoke."

"Then buy me a lighter from the market, mine is not working and I am lazy to go there. I'll pay you."  I pressed my lips together and smiled and nodded my head.

When I entered the market, I bought coconut milk and oats and a few fruits and approached to the cashier .  "Would you please give me a lighter?"

The girl in the cashier held the lighter to me.  After paying for the things I bought, I left the market and approached the woman slowly.  While her black hair was being blown by the effect of the wind, she gathered them and inserted them into her shirt.  After I gave the lighter to her,  I sat next to her.

"Thank you," said the woman, burning her cigarette immediately and moving it closer to her lips.  She would give me the lighter money that I stopped her with my hand.

"No need," I said.

After she put the money back in her pocket, she continued to smoke.  "Aren't you smoking cigarettes seriously?"  the woman asked, looking at me.  "In this period, even your younger people, even younger than you, started smoking."

"I said no.  "I don't use it. No offense, but I don't harm my own body..  Smokers even smoke that they know it harms them, which means that everyone is willing to harm their own body from yesterday.  Maybe only society teaches this;  it supports us hurting ourselves rather than loving ourselves.  So maybe thats why most people do it. "

The woman smiled at the edge of her lip.  "Now you say that, little one, everything can change as time goes on. Maybe you haven't seen the bad aspects of life, you talk like that."  She hesitated.  "But no matter what you do,  escape from smoking. Be you and don't use it."

"I don't want to sit here and talk to you about the pain I've had. Because it's kind of like racing the pain, and unfortunately I don't have that intention. But you don't know me, I assure you that I would never prefer to harm myself. Look, I said preference, because alcohol, drugs and  smoking is preference. Not necessity. We choose it. "  I said.  "And I don't think that if you smoke, don't tell others that it's bad and they shouldn't do it. I personally wouldn't take it seriously if I had an idea like smoking and someone who smoked it told me, before I advise a person, do I practice it myself?  I think you should ask this."

The woman laughed again.  "You're a smart girl and you speak a lot."

"Sometimes I do speak a lot."

"I would love to be in your place," said the woman, leaving the smoke out of her cigarette.  "You are young and beautiful. You have a big life and a chance."

"Youth is something in the soul," I said, breathing out.  "And as you understood, you don't believe it. Unfortunately, no matter how much I speak here, I will not be able to give up your old beliefs. But you have a life; don't think that life is over."

"I started smoking at the age of fourteen," said the woman.  "I've suffered a lot, too. My life is already over, little one. I think you're big enough to understand some things."  Shw took a deep breath.  "I have been working as a prostitute since that age. I didn't study, I had no job. That was my only option."

I sighed deeply.  "Maybe only you thought so. You could have gone and clean the toilet instead? Or could you wash the dishes for three cents?"  I hesitated.  "You could clean up, you could sweep the streets. But I can't judge you, maybe you've been told that this is the only option."  I exhaled again.  "But of course, I can't understand you. Because I didn't live what you experienced."

"Of course you can't understand," said the woman.  "Maybe I was powerless. Maybe I had other ways, but I chose this way. And I never gave up this way."  She hesitated.  "You're actually right. You know, it's not easy to satisfy the guys just for the money. Just doing whatever they want for the money ... This is very humiliating. But in the early days, I thought washing dishes, cleaning the toilet was a despicable thing. But as time went on, I was exhausted. One  After a while, everything is very tiring. "

As the air continued to be silenced, the woman looked at my face again.  "You, you be, make smart choices in life. Don't listen to adults. And listening to the elders, the elders would not be so unhappy and sullen if they knew everything."

•

I looked at Ozan softly.  "I decided something," I said suddenly.  Ozan raised his ears and took his eyes off the phone and looked at me.  "This time I will try to understand the prostitutes."

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