Kairen

| 11 |

                      | 11 |

It has been said that people always believe in the visible.  Everyone thinks to go after reason, and so everyone slowly begins to be deaf to their heart.  Yet isn't our heart our compass?  Why do we want proof to believe in everything but God?  Why is it important for a pair of eyes to see, but not what our hearts see?

However, the eye is mistaken and deceived.  There are a thousand stories hidden behind what we see, but what the heart sees is not like that.  The one who looks through the eyes of the heart always sees the facts and reasons.  Logic is necessary, of course, but not when looking for its own truth ...

We had left a few lessons behind;  We went downstairs for physical education class.  Girls and boys retreated to the changing rooms to change.

"We'll be with Serkan, but I'm scared," she said, whispering to his girlfriend.  I had involuntarily overheard their conversation, and it was impossible not to hear her anyway.  Although her face looked familiar, it could not be said that I knew her much because we studied at the same school.

"Protect yourself," the dark hair girl said to her.  "They say it hurts a lot at first."

"Does it hurt too much .." said the girl in a hesitant voice.  "What can I do? Serkan wants; I'm afraid, but if I'm not with him, he will be with others!"

"You have to do it to keep it in your hand," said the third girl.  Actually I was doing my best not to judge.  After all, this way of thinking was quite the opposite of mine.  And that made me feel awkward.  I didn't want to react.  After all, not everyone had to think the same as me, but I understood from her sentences that they are all what society says.  Sometimes people would try to manipulate us about everything.  And unfortunately, people without a strong mentality were falling for manipulation.  "The man wants the man's life. They say so, they are not tough like us."

"Yeah yeah."  the dark hair girl confirmed her.  "Your virgin dice will shatter."  Then she laughed playfully.  For some reason, I couldn't help but talk suddenly.  "It's not something that shatters the dice of virginity," I said in a straight voice.  I was trying my best not to make any judgments sound in my voice.  Because I was human too;  Although I was aware of some things, there were a lot of records in my subconscious until today and I could react sometimes without realizing it.  And these responses could be disturbing.  The girls suddenly looked at me.  I slowly bend my index finger into my thumb and look at them.  "Look, there is nothing behind it. So actually the virginity membrane is not like stretch film as you might think. It only expands when the penis enters here and in some cases it bleeds. In some cases it may not bleed depending on your flexibility. It may hurt a lot or it may not hurt. I overheard it.  Sorry, but if you are going to do this, I just wanted to inform. Their experiences are their experiences. Maybe it won't hurt at all. "

The brunette and the third girl looked at me strangely.  In fact, maybe they didn't like that I heard them.  But the other girl approached me.  "So is there any chance I won't bleed?"  She said in a fussy voice.  "What if he doesn't think I'm a virgin? If he thinks I lied to him? If he thinks I'm not a virgin, he'll leave me."

I put my hand lightly on her shoulder.  "Yes there is," I said.  "Everyone needs to know that. If he doesn't know, tell him. If he is with you only for your virginity, I think go away from him. Of course, you know, after all your body. But the value of women is not between your legs. You know it deeply, only society always say otherwise. The majority of them say the same thing.  just because he says that doesn't mean its true. "

The girl nodded with a timid expression.

"Do you want to be with him?"  I asked.  "Remember that you don't have to do anything. Do it if you want, but you don't have to do it because he wants it. Is he going to leave you for this? Let him leave."