What He Left Behind

Twelve

It isn't long until we arrive back at Charlie's. I've never been to his house before and I feel weirdly anxious and a little intrigued. I know Charlie has a dad and an older brother and no mom, but that's virtually the extent of what he's shared about his home life. The analyst in me is interested to see what life is like in the Hemmingway household, to fill in another piece on the baffling puzzle of Charlie's life.

The house is set back from the road, with an empty lawn and some steps leading up to the front porch. The door opens to reveal a living area that doesn't look much different to mine. There are two couches facing a television set, and a staircase running along the right hand side of the room. Instead of a door to the kitchen like in my house, the wall has been knocked through and it's now an open plan kitchen and living area. It makes the house feel more spacious than mine, despite the fact it's only a little bigger. Reflective of Charlie's life, it's clear to see the house is lacking some female influence; instead of plants or paintings dotted around, there are beer cans and cider bottles. Everything is mismatched and thrown together in a chaotic sort of way.

Charlie follows my gaze around the room and then looks at me, sheepish and uncomfortable. He kicks off his shoes and sits down on the couch nearest the front door. I hesitate, sensing he doesn't let many people into his home life like this. I can't help but feel I'm intruding.

Slowly, I take off my shoes too and sit down next to him. Charlie turns to face me and we interweave our legs and he tells me to stop looking so uncomfortable, a rich statement considering the fact he looks like someone who's just be walked in on while showering. For a while we chat about everything and nothing, and I can see he starts to relax but the peace is unfortunately short-lived.

We are interrupted by the noise of keys in the lock and we look up to see a drunken man stumbling in. I've never met him before but I figure it must be Charlie's older brother Brandon. His hair is shorter than Charlie's, but it's scruffy and all over the place. He is clearly drunk and my god does he act like his brother when he's drunk. The atmosphere in the room instantly changes, becoming cold and uncomfortable again.

Charlie abruptly jumps to his feet, tensing up like he does every time he senses a threat. I awkwardly swivel my legs onto the floor, wishing that I could just disappear for a moment because I really am too sensitive to be around drunks today.

"Is this the girl you've been on about?" Brandon slurs, eyeing me up and down.

I look down at my feet, losing all sense of security that I had just seconds ago. Charlie steps in between the two of us, his protective instinct taking over. I wonder what he's afraid of. He's never spoken of his brother particularly unfavourably. Then again, he hasn't spoken of his brother much at all. But his reaction to Brandon being drunk isn't exactly reassuring.

"Brandon, go upstairs."

"Why? Am I interrupting something?"

"Just go."

"Or what?" he hisses, grabbing Charlie by the collar.

"Fuck off okay?" Charlie orders, pushing his brother off of him. Brandon smirks and turns his attention to me, crouching down to my level. He places his hand roughly on the side of my face, stroking my cheek with his calloused fingers. His breath stinks of alcohol and I can't move.

"Don't," Charlie warns, shoving Brandon's hand away from my face. Brandon is unfazed and sustains his attention on me, ignoring Charlie altogether.

"You're a pretty girl," Brandon chuckles, "Why are you wasting your time with my brother?" At first I suppose he's only messing around but then I notice the look of hurt and shame in Charlie's eyes. It is the first time I've ever seen him look vulnerable and I realise immediately that his brother's words cut him like a knife. Suddenly our conversation at lunch makes sense. Perhaps the reason he could relate so well to what I talked about was because he's in a similar situation. All that stuff he said about losing someone gradually and being in limbo – could he have been talking about his older sibling?