My muscles are stiff from sleeping on the hearth of the fireplace. My throat is dry and my eyes are sore and probably red from all the crying I did last night. I didn't bring a mirror.
My mudstained, bloodstained rainbow dress lies in a heap on the floor. I sigh. It was beautiful. I'll have to wash it. The pain in my calf is still intense and burning, with blood still pouring from my wound. I wish I had something to numb the pain. I wish I had something to make my nightmare run away.
I've decided I'm going to stay here until my calf is better. At most, two months. There's no point keeping going if I'm going to strain my leg and make it worse. There's the Covey to worry about. I've been missing for a day. Coriolanus is gone. Their first move is to come here. Maude Ivory, Tam Amber, Barb Azure. How can I let them know I've gone without putting them in danger?
I step outside where the rain has stopped overnight. The solid ground has turned to soft mud, and droplets of water slowly slips from the canopy of leaves overhead. As I appoach the lake, I notice that the bullet rain has knocked down each petal on each katniss plant, leaving a white blanket of petals hiding the brown earth.
Here, start to sing.
Deep in the meadow, under the willow.
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow.
I sing the lullaby so the Covey know I'm safe. The mockingjays copy me until the woods are alive with chorus. Mockingjays. The creature the Capitol never intended to exist.
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true,
Here is the place where I love you.
The voices of the mockingjays harmonise my last words to the Covey. It's a song which is perfect. Just the way I want it.
***
I fashion a new fishing pole and sit at the lake to find some breakfast which consists of two fish, katniss and berries. I wonder if this is what I'll have for the rest of my life. I clumsily gut the fish and I advert my eyes when I fish out the insides. I've seen enough blood and guts to last a lifetime. I know I stomach the entire fish, so I save it for later. The katniss and berries add a nice touch, even if the katniss is still early.
After my meal, I sit by the lake desperately trying to scrub my dress. The mud has washed off but the blood remains. I have no choice but to let it soak in the lake. I lie the shoulder part of it on the bank and hold in in place with rocks. I watch as the skirt ripples gently in the wind and water, bringing me a sense of peace , pride and freedom, but also heaviness.
In the late afternoon when the Covey come, I hide and I grab scarce belongings with me so they think I've gone. I can't let them go with me. They are safe in 12. Going into the unknown is too dangerous. It means giving up everything and they have too much to lose. I long to be with them. To reach out to them. To hug them one last time. But I can't. They look sleepless with worry, dark eyes and exhausted.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
The mockingjays sing the notes I no longer can. My goodbye.
Here is the place where I love you.
YOU ARE READING
The Ballad of Lucy Gray
Fanfiction"Was she alive, dead, a ghost who haunted the wilderness? Perhaps no one would ever really know." ~Suzanne Collins. After Lucy Gray Baird leaves the safety of District 12 behind to live the rest of her remaining days out in the wilderness, the vict...
