𝘾𝙖𝙣 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙃𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙈𝙚? ; 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙡𝙚𝙮 𝙌𝙪𝙞𝙣𝙣

♦️ 9 ♦️

"Make a wish."

~ my attempt at our forever

Y/n's POV:

Four days later.

"I've been having trouble sleeping." I yawned into my hand as if to prove my point, "I've taken some melatonin but all that does is make things worse."

"How so?" Dr. Paige asked.

"My nightmares seem more real. I feel like I'm trapped inside of them and I can't get out."

"These nightmares, do they have anything to do with seeing your father?"

I nodded, tearing my gaze away from her and staring at a specific spot on the carpet.

"Does Harley help with the nightmares?"

"Yeah, but I can tell it's affecting her too." I sighed heavily, "She won't admit to it but I know she doesn't really sleep much because of it."

"And I'm going to guess that this makes you feel much more of a.. how did you put it?"

"A burden." I mumbled, fiddling with my thumbs.

"Right. But you aren't and I don't think she feels that way about it." Dr. Paige shook her head as she tried to reassure me. It was useless. Once my mind told me one thing, there was no changing my mind. I needed constant reassurance everyday and I wasn't going to ask Harley to give that to me. She was already doing more than enough.

"It's not like you can just kick out a mentally unstable person." I scoffed.

"She has feelings for you. You sacrifice a lot for the person you like."

"She shouldn't have to sacrifice her normalcy for me. Her life was, for the most part, pretty normal until I came and fucked up her routine."

My therapist just gave me a tight lipped smile, "When you love someone, you make sacrifices. A routine can always be changed. Humans are made to adapt to new situations. Sure it might be a little rocky at first, but eventually the road becomes smooth."

After a beat of silence, Dr. Paige sighed under her breath, "Look, I mean this in the most respectful way I can. Harley Quinn isn't exactly the most stable person, so I'm sure she'd be the first person to understand what you're going through."

"It scares me how much I depend on her. How much I trust her." I confessed weakly, running my fingers through my hair.

My therapist smiled weakly at me, pity swirling around in her eyes before it was gone, "It's understandable given your history."

"But I don't want Harley to be some momentary happiness. I don't want to give and give and then come up short again. I don't want to allow myself to be happy and then have things go to hell."

"If you can't allow yourself to be happy with someone, then you won't be happy without them."

"You know I hate that. Some people need help loving themselves." I grumbled.

"Sometimes the best help can only be given when it's coming from you. But, I will agree and say that I dislike the saying too. But it's the truth. If you really think that Harley is going to turn out like your ex, then it's going to happen. Bad things will happen if you look for bad things." Paige explained.

"I know a Harley isn't going to turn out like my ex because she's different than my ex and that scares me. Harley has more power over me than she did and that scares me."