ㅡ hanakotoba. 「 sapnap x george, sapnapnotfound 」！finished！

「 05 」

i think it was in the airplane when it started. maybe it was the thought of losing george that made me want to protect him so bad that the feelings i tried so hard to deny abruptly grew.

or maybe it's just the delusional thought of him and me dating...

"shit darryl what do i do i can't think of an excuse." that time, dream found out i was going to london and he asked why i was meeting george but i didn't know what to say.

"just say anything!"

"'anything' is not something i can message him! think of something!"

"oh i know you muffin!" darryl just grabbed the phone from my hand and started typing something to dream.

twsapnap
actually

twsapnap
me and george
started dating

dreamwastaken
what?

"what?!"

"shut up you muffin, this is the only excuse i could think of."

i literally shut up after that. darryl kept on talking to dream, impersonating me, even mentioning the carbonated melon milk everyone knows i drink, yet i was just sitting there, stunned. i was speechless and the only thing running in my mind was the thought of george and i dating. maybe that thought that will never come true brought my hopes up, even if it's just fake.

what's it like to date someone you like?

i would like to know, george.

「 花言葉。」

"one day george will be running around here in these clouds." i said as i looked out the window. somehow it was maybe the thought of that that i saw a silhouette jumping around the clouds. an angel? no. such things don't exist. i don't believe in something unless i have confirmed it really exists. maybe the clouds just moved or something. i must be tired.

as i listen to the music to try and lull myself to sleep, i can't stop thinking about george, george, and how i can protect george. even if it takes for him to take the surgery and forget about us, all i care is about his well being.

turns out he wasn't being selfish at all. he did it for our sake. he lied when he said it was all for dream but it's not. he knew in the first place he already had no chance, and finding out that there's a rare chance that you'll wake up with no more whatsoever kind of feelings. he didn't want to risk that.

but why wouldn't he try?

why is he so determined to die like that?