Total eclipse of a heart (Embry Call)

08. Mistrust

Jacob's striding toward Emily's, his step quick and unstoppable. He doesn't slow down when I fall behind, nor does he look behind. His back muscles are tense visibly, even to the untrained eye and his shoulders are stiff, even as he moves his arms remain at his side. His hands are tightened into fists and his silence tells me those missed snippets of the conversation he had with his father minutes before were a lot more important than I wanted to believe at first.

Does Billy Black know who I am?

Would Jacob tell me if he did?

Probably not.

I could sense his mistrust, which makes sense. Of course he'd mistrust me, he barely knows me. It's a fact I keep forgetting as time here seems to go a lot slower, making the days seem longer. It doesn't feel like I've been here for a couple of days, but a couple of months.

I can't keep forgetting that.

"Jake! Slow down!" I quicken my pace to match his, almost an impossible task as I seem to be jogging by his side.

"Jake." I repeat sternly, grabbing a hold of his bicep to make him stop. He turns to me with narrowed eyes and a dark look inside, his jaw clenching.

"Valerie." He jerks his arm out of my grasp, crossing them over his chest.

"Did I do something to offend you?" I lick my lips before continuing with a smaller voice, a soften tone.

"Or your dad?"

Jacob stares intently, his gaze piercing and investigative. He searches my face for indications of my intentions, almost like he wants to determine if his first impression of me was right or not. It's like he wants to believe I mean no harm, but I can tell he knows more than he should. Perhaps it's not my goal he's aware of, but he surely knows I'm not that innocent friend Rachel brought from college. He can sense I have ulterior motives, which could cost me everything down the line.

"I don't know. Did you?" He raises a brow, his body still as a tree in the middle of a meadow - firm, proud and intimidating as he looms over me.

"I thought we were okay? We talked this morning and it felt like we're okay. I don't know if I said something insulting to your dad, I'm not the best with parents. I'm not really good with people in general." I bite my lower lip, dragging my teeth over the soft flesh and release the pressure, giving a slight plump to it. My hands naturally tuck themselves into my back pockets and my eyes drop to the ground as a sigh escapes me.

I didn't lie to him. I knew even a half truth would jeopardize our possible connection and that wouldn't do me any good in the future. I meant what I said, although I'm sure he's figured that out himself.

"No. You didn't offend anyone. I just...have a feeling you're not being completely honest with me. Or Rachel. I don't like dishonesty." Jacob states, tilting my face with the tip of his index finger on my chin.

I look up, my brown eyes meeting his, swallowing thickly. Every muscle in his face is tense and without a word he communicated intense mistrust, anger, despising, yet his touch is gentle and caring like a lover's touch after a quarrel.

What I don't understand is where all this fury of his comes from when he isn't even aware of my secret.

What did Billy tell him?

"We all have things we hide, Jacob. Sometimes because we're not ready to deal with them and suppress them at all costs, or because we're ashamed and wish for it to remain buried so people we love don't think differently about us. What matters is that these things aren't dangerous to other humans. I get the mistrust. You barely know me. When you get to know me, you'll see there's no reason to act like this. I'm sure you have things you'd like to stay hidden too."
Again, I opt for a half truth. It's the lesser of two evils and me emphasizing certain words were a warning of sorts of either a disaster or true friendship to come.