Total eclipse of a heart (Embry Call)

36. Past that haunts us

I'm back here again - trembling under the bed as my lips are sealed shut, covered with my hand just to make sure I don't make a sound. The warm liquid is slowly cooling off, still dripping but with an even pace. I close my eyes not to see what I know is true, ignoring the metallic smell and even more the weight of her lifeless body above me. I can't even remember when they moved her from the ground, the sound of her dropping body still ringing inside my mind.

A small part of me prays she's just asleep, as silly as it is considering I've never truly been introduced to any religion. The supernatural world was enough to convince my parents there is no higher power, no heaven or hell - all the devils are already here anyway.

I know it's a dream, the sense of reality shifting around me is familiar and I've never been more grateful to have studied inducement of vivid dreams. At first it was meant to help me escape the horrid truth I face awake, yet it seems the horrors of my existence have seeped into my dreams as well.

"It's just a dream", I whisper to myself, my voice is shaky, my mind on the verge of slipping into the deep end. Out of all the things I've survived, this is the one that haunts me now?

The fear I feel is a memory, I remind myself yet it's impossible to shed. It must have been forever as I waited for father to arrive, to find me - take me from the scene. I can't be sure how longing was forced to be under there, silently weeping.

"Do you believe this trash?" And then the memory changes, the sounds around me replacing the deafening silence I believed surrounded me. At the time, all I could hear is the pounding of my own heart, but now? I'm in control of the dream, of the memory long buried in my subconscious.

"We'd hear the girl, would we not? Either way, it's a waste of time. We should have sent Jane and Alec to deal with this. It's his mate after all." Eyes wide open, I hold my breath as the steps grow distant, terrified I'd be discovered.

"It's just a dream." I croak, my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands as I struggle to keep my composure, trying to wake myself but I feel the pain. I feel the pain as my nails break the skin, as the blood trickles onto the bloody floorboards, mixing with my mother's.

"It's just a dream." I close my eyes, repeating the mantra over and over again as panic spikes and my voice is going higher and higher until I'm screamig, my throat raw.

"Val, wake up. Wake up! VALERIE!"

Shooting up with a loud, involuntary gasp passing my lips, I nearly bang my head agaisnt Embry's. His brown eyes show concern, his hands tightly on my arms, keeping me in place. Looking around wildly, nothing looks familiar. Everything is different, strange. Everything but him.

"Are you okay?" Embry shouts, worked up as much as I am and perhaps it's the bond amplifying his response to my overwhelming emotions, but he seems terrified for me.

Managing to catch my breath between a couple short, shallow breaths, I nod my head before pulling him into a hug I desperately need. My heart is beating so fast I can hardly focus on anything, but his woodsy scent is calming, an antidote to any nightmare that plagues me.

"It's okay. I'm here. I'm here." He assures me, his hands running up and down my back as I let a few tears slip past my defenses, grateful he's with me. If I had woken up alone, I fear I'd have lost my mind.

I've spent years trying to bury the emotional trauma and to relieve her death in a dream so vivid...perhaps it wasn't a dream, but a warning. It was too real to ignore, to write it off as nothing.

My mother was murdered while protecting me and the Volturi did the deed. I have no room for forgiveness in my heart. They will pay.

But for now, I have to start trusting someone other than myself. For once in my life, I have to open my heart and let someone in. If I can't do that, I don't deserve this wonderful man who is everything good this world has to offer. Rare, and beautiful.