Arianna's P.O.V
*I sat straddling my surf board, my legs swaying loosely in the sparkling blue water. I look ahead and see Dad smiling at me from his board, the corners of his mouth showing small wrinkles. I feel the warmth of the sun on my face as the sun shines a brilliant orange, signalling it's soon setting. I close my eyes happily, taking it all in. After a moment, I slowly open my eyes and am greeted by a grey sky. I look towards my Dad confused, only to see his surf board floating unattended. "DAD!" I cry desprately. I paddle in his direction and dive deep down in the cool, dark water. I see him slowly sinking down into the depths, his eyes closed. I reach for him and grab onto his hand. Suddenly, my hand shrinks to the size of a childs as I desprately try to pull him up. I'm not strong enough. I struggle to move upward but we continue to sink farther down. My body begins to tremble as my urge to breathe grows stronger. Suddenly, The force of the current smacks against me and his hand slips out from mine. The need for air finally drives me back up to the surface. I take a deep breath as tears begin to flow from my eyes. "DADDY!" I cry again, before I dive under the dark waves in search for him. He is no where to be found. I resurface again to breathe, still crying, "DADDY, WHERE ARE YOU DADDY!?" I turn around as I tread water, in attempt to dive back down. Before I can, I see a huge wave coming straight for me only seconds before it smacks my little body beneath the water. I try to get back to the surface but I'm too far down. My mouth opens to take an involuntary breath. I feel the water rush into my lungs as I attempt to shout for my dad.*
I sit straight up in my bed, gasping for breath. I put a hand on my throat as I look around and discover I am in my room. My hand moves up to my forehead and I feel small beads of sweat. It was just a dream, I tell myself quietly.
Just a dream.
I notice, as I slip out of my bed that it's still dark out. I check the time on my alarm clock; 6:02a.m. I won't be able to go back to sleep. I put a grey hoodie over my white tank top and decided to just stay in my black pj shorts. Quietly, I slip out onto my balcony and down the stairs, heading in the direction of the beach. The cool sand weaves its way through my toes as the cool morning breeze runs through my chocolate brown hair. I walk in silence as I stare at the water. I take a seat on the sand and tuck my knees to my chest.
A few years ago, at around this time during everday of the summer, I would be in the water with my dad, not staring at it. But that was then. That was before my dad died.
I can't help but replay that morning in my head.
*flashback*
"Ari, Arianna." My dad said shaking my arm slightly. "Wake up, I'm going to our beach, wanna come?" He asked. I sat up slightly and rubbed my eyes.
"Huh?" I asked still tired. He smiled that familliar warm smile.
"I'm going to our beach, wanna come?" He asked again. I thought about his offer for a moment. Usually I accepted in a heartbeat, but that morning, for whatever reason, I was too tired to.
"No, I'm gonna sleep for a little longer." I told him laying back down, snuggling deeper into my sheets.
"Ok, Princess. Get some sleep, I'll see you later." He said before standing up from crouching by my bed."Love you." He whispered as he gently kissed my forehead.
"Love you too." I mumbled to him, before falling back to sleep.
I woke up around thirty minutes later deciding to go and meet him. I got dressed in my surf suit and headed downstairs. I saw that my dad had made Danny and I breakfast. Maybe he just left then, I thought before running outside and climbing onto my bike. I rode my bike down the path to the part of the beach we owned. It was a small part, about ten minutes away from my house. It had tropical looking trees surrounding it and a small cave like structure in the water. The cave had a hole at the top of it and at night, my dad and I would lie on our surf boards and look at the stars through it. I came close to the beach and noticed my dads car parked off to the side. I unloaded my surf board from the back of his car, and carried it to the water. After walking deeper in the water, I climbed on my surf board and paddled to find my dad. I looked for him for a good ten minutes before I saw it.
His unattended surf board, with bubbles surfacing next to it.
Panicing, I paddled as fast as I could to him, and quickly dived under. I saw him slowly sinking down, his eyes shut. My heart dropped at the sight of that. After swimming down a few feet, I was able to grab onto his hand. I looked at my hand latching onto his and then quickly proceeded to pull him up to the surface. The only thing was, I soon found out I wasn't strong enough to pull him up. I desprately tried to summon all my strength in order to get him to the top of the water. But I couldn't. I didn't. I knew I was too late.*
I snapped out of my flashback as I saw the tip of the sun beginning to peak up above the waves. I smiled to myself. I always loved the sight of the sunrise, it was beautiful. Dad loved it too. He always would tell me that the sunrise reminded him of new beginnings, it reminded him that hard times passed. I smiled at the thought of my Dad before being lost in my thoughts of that day once again.
*flashback*
I layed in my bed the night my dad died, silent tears pouring from my eyes. Danny layed next to me sleeping, his breath uneven from crying. I layed in silence thinking about my dad. I don't remember ever letting go of his hand, but some how I did.*
I gazed at the sun as I continued to think about that day. Letting go of his hand, that was my biggest regret. I gave up on him. I didn't try hard enough. I still remember watching as the paramedics got him out of the water and tried to revive him. I remember screaming for my daddy and Danny letting me cry into his chest. I remember watching as the paramedics performed countless failed attempts at getting my dad back, but that didn't matter. All that mattered was my failed attempt.
Later I found out that he had had a heart attack caused by smoking which cause him to fall off of his board. Danny used that information to try to persuade me that it wasn't my fault, and maybe he is right. How is an eleven year old, 73 pound girl supposed to lift a grown man out of water. It seems pretty hard. But that wasn't the whole picture. If I hadn't decided to go back to sleep, if I had gone with him in the first place, could things have been different? That's the question that has haunted me for years. I guess there is no way to know for sure, but deep down the question remains, if I had went with him from the beginning, could I have saved him?
**********
