Letters to Arabella

Final Letter

Dear Arabella,

Believe or not, it's been weeks since I've written to you. Normally I'd write to you at least once a week, but then I actually took this therapy thing seriously.

I took my medication and I worked on fixing myself. I even apologized to my mother. You'd be so proud, Ara. I can picture you smiling that big smile of yours right now.

I've learned so much about myself these past weeks. I learned that being angry all the time and pushing blame onto the world around me wasn't going to bring you back and it wasn't going to make me feel better. 

I'll always miss you and that's okay. I'll always love you and that's still okay.

I'm okay.

By the way, I went over to your house today. I hope you don't mind. Your parents and I had a lovely conversation. I used to think they hated me, but they were surprisingly delighted to see me.

We talked about you for hours and hours and for the first time, saying your name didn't hurt as bad. We laughed over old memories and looked through photo albums.

I wish they weren't just memories, but you're the one who left, remember?

You left me. You took your life and left me without a warning or even a goodbye.

I didn't understand why and I still don't. Maybe I never will.

What I do know is that I have to keep going with or without you. It doesn't mean I'll forget you Arabella. That's simply impossible.

I'll never stop loving you, but I guess this means farewell as I'm putting an end to these letters.

Rest in peace Arabella.
Sincerely yours,

 - Harry Styles

P.S. I recently found those silly videos you secretly made on my computer and I've been laughing my ass off all day...for that and much more, I thank you.