red sun || lee felix

ch. 9 /// wanting you wanting me

tw : scenes of vampire-related gore and violence. 
read with caution ♥️

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Fei told me the first scouting mission would take place at dusk the next day. She didn't tell me where, just to go for a walk and keep my nose to the ground. It was good she didn't give me all the details. The secrets were piling up, and I had a mindreader to keep out of my head.

After she gave me a noncommittal pat on the head and disappeared southwest, I marched back into the forest, hung out in the trees and waited for someone to find me. Eventually Seungmin, Jeongin and Hyunjin passed by. I caught them in the middle of an Awkward Lull — convo was sparse.

We met the others at the forest edge. They were kneeling on the ground, heads bowed. Praying, I guess. I put my head down, too, but my mind was blank. The eight of us ran full-speed out of the forest, pointed toward the city. I breathed in and out, in and out, and Jisung listened, eyes squinted at the back of my head.

Jisung finally let up once we reached the hotel. He stopped Haseong and Chan, asked if he could talk to them privately. They hung back in the hallway while the rest of us continued into the suite. Changbin and I sat down on the sofa and I slouched into his side.

"Did you get enough to drink?" he asked.

"Yeah." I was enjoying momentarily not having to censor my thoughts.

"What's up? You're feeling... trepidation?"

But I guess my thoughts weren't all I had to worry about. "No — trepidation? No. Maybe overstimulated."

"Why overstimulated?"

"I don't really feel like being around people right now, know what I mean? Hey, you and me, let's—"

"Felix, can we speak to you?" Chan and Haseong were peeking in the door. Jisung strode past them and sat on the bed, staring at me again. I breathed — in and out — and nodded, got up to meet them. They led me out into the hallway.

"Felix, we're sorry for—" Chan started.

"It's fine, hyung, I get it," I interrupted.

"We don't want to invade your privacy the way we have been. We live in the human world but the vampire world is always following us. You understand that, right?"

"Of course I do. But you're not gonna stop spying on me, are you?"

"We can talk about—"

"No," Haseong said. "Not until we know what you're hiding."

"I'm not hiding anything."

"That's a lie."

Haseong and I stared, tested each other. Chan squeezed his hands together, looking supremely uncomfortable.

"Changbin and I are going out," I said. "You won't have to worry about us for a while."

Haseong nodded, didn't say anything. I headed back into the suite. Changbin had moved to the bed so he could talk at Jisung, and to my surprise, Jisung was actually listening. Hyunjin was next to him, slumped all the way down to the pillow.

"Changbin," I said, "wanna step out, go for a run?"

He winced a little and looked up at me. "Rain check? Jisung's gonna teach me to play piano."

"What the hell is a 'rain check'? Can you just come with me please?"

"You can come to the lounge if you want."