Everything Broken: A Star Wars Story

Chapter 15: Mends

(A/N: this chapter is dedicated to @W3LLSHIT ,,, YOU'RE THE REAL MVP,,,,, THANKS FOR ALL THE COMMENTS ILY,,,,,, ps. the nickname 'ara' was created by this wholesome soul)(pps. sorry for making you all suffer with that last chapter then waiting like literally 2 days to update)
(UPDATE: I fixed some of the spelling/grammar errors that I didn't proofread at 1 am)

"Kidara." Obi-Wan spoke, softly, like if he rose his voice just an octave higher his padawan would break. "You have to tell me whats wrong."

Kidara stood in the doorway to Obi-Wans quarters, grabbing her arms with opposite hands, digging her nails into her flesh as she bit back a sob.

"Kidara, come sit." Kidara did sit, on the opposite meditation mat that sat on the far end of Obi-Wans quarters. "Now please, tell me whats been causing you to harm yourself like this."

Kidara could not think of an answer. She could blame it on the council, blame it on Quinlan, but her master would know she was covering up the truth. The real reason she had been force purging.

"Gods, I hate myself." She managed to choked out. "I hate myself so kriffing much and I can't fix it, no matter how much I try to 'release my anxieties into the force' like the council tells me too, I can't because I'm so kriffing useless!"

"Padawan." Obi-Wan started. "The council does not think you're useless."

"Yes they do!" She spat back. "Master you heard what they said about me when I got hurt. You know they don't respect me like they respect Ashoka, or any other padawan. They think I'm worthless."

Obi-Wan did not speak. He knew she was right, he knew the council had said such horrible things about her without stopping to think that perhaps, the girl could hear them. He only wished he had realized the signs her her obvious self-loathing sooner.

"Kidara," He knelt to where she sat with her face in her shaking hands, slowly pulling them away. "Our training bond can be mended. But I've neglected your feelings for far too long."

Kidara looked down. "I'm so sorry, Obi-Wan."

"I care about you, Kidara, I care about you too much to let you keep hurting yourself like this. And I'll do everything in my power to help you."

Kidara nodded, slowly.

"Kidara?" Obi-Wan spoke. "I'm sorry for not noticing sooner."

And though Kidara had though she had regained a bit of her composure since entering the room, the words that left Obi-Wans mouth left her with tears streaming down her face all over again.

When Obi-Wan opened his arms to embrace her, Kidara did not move away. They sat on the floor of Obi-Wans quarters as Kidara clutched onto the edges of her masters tunics. Eventually the two fell asleep, Obi-Wan succumbing to his exhaustion.

Obi-Wan didn't want to sleep alone after the events on Kadavo, anyway.

The force around them was warm, familiar, knowing. When Kidara's mind met her masters, it wasn't a collision like it was before. I was slow, tying and knotting, holding on to each other like a lifeline. It was molding, melting, bonding.

This time, when the bonds met at separate ends, it was stronger.

~*~

Ashoka was awoken to the warm orange light creeping in from Kidara's window. Only, when Ashoka turned over, no Kidara was to be found.

"Ara?" She mumbled, her voice thick with sleep.

She didn't think much of it, Kidara had most likely woken up earlier to shower or drink tea with Obi-Wan. She reached out in the force through their bond, suddenly feeling very wrong.