Everything Broken: A Star Wars Story

Chapter Seven: Missions and Crystals

Kidara did not sleep at all throughout the night. She tried, but inevitably failed. Her mind was absolutely racing, thought after horrible thought and Kidara was afraid for a moment that she wouldn't be able to turn off her brain. She gave up on attempting to sleep. She instead, focused on comforting Ashoka. Kidara could sleep later, or meditate, like Obi-Wan often did. She could also do what Anakin did when he didn't get enough sleep, and drink an ungodly amount of caf.

When Ashoka started to twitch and fidget in her dormant state, her face twisted into a horrible snarl, Kidara simply pulled her togruta friend into her arms, winding them around her back and settling one hand on the back of her head. This did calm Ashoka down, Kidara feeling Ashoka go lax in her arms and curl into her grip, but it made Kidara all the more aware of her obvious attachment.

Kidara had many attachments, she realized. Kix, Cody, Faie, Archer, Wolffe, so many of the clones who called her Ad'ika and treated her as a younger sister. Obi-Wan, who clearly had his own attachments, heck, the man hadn't yet severed his training bond with his former padawan. And Anakin. Anakin was attached to Ashoka and Obi-Wan and several others. This was obvious.

So why was attachment so wrong in the eyes of the council? Obi-Wan was the perfect example of a well trained, well respected, code following Jedi Master. And if someone as ideal as him had attachments, they couldn't be morally wrong, could they?

Ashoka began to stir again, ever so slightly adjusting herself in Kidaras grip. Mentally, Kidara checked her defenses in the force, they were open, but not seeping every thought she had into her friends mind.

Good. I'm not sure she would like the idea of me contemplating my emotional attachments to her instead of sleeping.

As the seemingly endless night went on, Kidara began to feel lost. Was the Jedi Order really a good system? Was it really good? Her mind was racing, every fleeting second she felt herself falling, further and further from reality, until she was enveloped in an all encompassing state of force. everything around her was bright, good, she thought. She couldn't see Ashoka, but she could see her force signature, warm and bright, flush against her own. She could feel Anakins force signature too, in the next room over. It was certainly light, but it was not calm and warm like Ashokas. It was frenzied and so very cold. Obi-Wans force signature was near Anakin's, the two were almost always together. Obi-Wans was balanced, exceedingly bright, almost singing.

Kidara wondered what her own force signature looked and felt like.

"Bright." Ashoka said, pulling herself out of sleep. Kidara immediately yanked herself from the living force and back into reality. "So bright and warm. like a fire on a cold night."

"Ashoka, i'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." Kidara began to apologize for disturbing her friends much needed rest.

"Shut up, Kidara." Ashoka laughed, her voice thick with sleep. "Please go back to holding me. You're warm and your force signature is helping me sleep."

And how could Kidara say no to that? She wrapped her arms more tightly around Ashoka and tried to quiet her mind. She was almost starting to feel tired herself.

Kidara was very attached to Ashoka.

~*~

"Padawan Kidara, You have been assigned to accompany the senate representative of Mandalore, Tal Merrik, on his embark to Coruscant. You leave this afternoon. Any questions?"

Wow, Kidara thought. Those were brief briefings.

"Yes, Master Windu, I have one question. May I ask why I am accompanying this representative?" Kidara spoke. She also wondered why they had chosen her, but she didn't ask that.