Taste of Love - (Gal Gadot)

9

i wanted to believe that it was a dream.

that i would soon wake up, and this would all be over, i would roll out of bed, and stare at the window and see Gal across from me, but this was starting to feel like reality, and i often tried to run away as far as i could.

how could i run now? my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach, my eyes now on the floor, i tried to contain my emotions, but i felt hurt on the inside, and that started to anger me.

why the fuck should i care? why the fuck DO i care? this woman was simply just a stranger, and now she had taken over my life without even realizing it, and that was affecting me more than i would like to admit.

after what felt as though an eternity, i finally made eye contact with Gal, surprisingly her eyes were already glued on me, it was as if she was were waiting for me to respond, and though i had much to say, i also didn't know what to say.

"we're going to be moving within the next few days, we already found a place that's not too far from here, and although we hate to start over, what matters to me most is Gal's safety, i need to make sure she stays well"

"it's unfortunate that they found out where you lived, i can only imagine how draining it must be to have your privacy invaded like that" my mother responded, her tone sad.

"if you'll excuse me, i need to use the restroom" i said, getting up without even waiting to be excused, i just needed to find away to get out of there without feeling that my emotions were going to explode.

"you're okay, Sarah" i kept whispering to myself, those words were the opposite to how i was really feeling but i needed to hear words of encouragement at this moment of weakness and frustration.

just when i thought i was on my own, i felt Gal's presence as i turned around and was faced by the woman whom drove me crazier than i'd like to admit.

"really? you just had to be here right now?" i asked, crossing my arms, as we were inches apart from each other, i could smell her sweet fragrance, one that i know i'll miss awfully much.

"why are you being like this, Sarah?" she tilted her head, reaching her hand out to hold mine. "we don't need to have this tension right now, we can simply talk about it"

"talk about it? are you fucking kidding me, Gal?!" i raised my voice, as i took a step back. "your partner is currently having a conversation with my mother at the living room and here you are, wanting me to talk about it? you just don't get it, do you?"

"get what, Sarah? talk to me so i can understand, you're pushing me away, you're creating walls as i try to get closer to you!"

"my walls are there because of you!" i started off, trying to hold my composure. "what gives you the fucking right to walk into my life, make me feel so special, only to end up walking away from me?"

"who said i was walking away? Sarah, i'm right here, sweetheart."

"no" i laughed dryly. "you're not. you may physically be here with me, but mentally, you're farther away."

she stood silent, but her face broke the silence - she looked deeply in pain, and although i hated seeing her like this, i wasn't going to bottle up how i feel when i knew this may be the last time i ever see her again, so i decided to fully fess up.

"i've never met anyone like you. take it as a compliment if you want, but it's more of a curse than a blessing, because you're all over my head and as much as i want to forget you, i know i can't. i'm not talking about you moving away, i'm talking about the distance between us while you're inches away from me. maybe you were right after all, this is a fairytale, maybe this isn't real whatsoever, but my feelings are fucking real, what i feel for you is real. i'm not sure about many things in my life, Gal, but i'm sure about you, i'm sure of my emotions towards you. its that smile of yours, or the way you laugh, or when you ramble about the things that make you happy, or even when you're simply talking about your day. its every little thing about you, you've driven me to insanity, but i'm not going to sit here and blame you, because it's truly my fault for thinking we could have been something, when really this was all a fantasy, right? deep down, i thought it was you but maybe it was never you, maybe i had loved the idea of you, Gal. but that's not the reality that we're in. you're currently in a long term committed relationship while i'm just a student waiting to graduate so i can start my life, and somehow we crossed paths, but honestly, i wish i never met you, because now i'm left with feeling so deeply for you."

i didn't realize i was crying, until my eyes became blurry, i wiped my tears away, i hated showing vulnerability - i felt weak, and i wasn't going to show off my weakness to the woman who brings me weak to my knees.

she looked speechless, but i wasn't going to wait for her response, because i had a feeling i knew what she was going to say, so instead, i finished off by saying...

"Chris is absolutely the luckiest person in the world, he's loved by you, there's nothing more pure than that, but i have to come to terms with accepting reality and not this fantasy in my head of you and i, because that will never happen."

just as i was about to walk away, she wrapped a single arm around my waist, and pushed me against the wall, kissing me so deeply, and leaving me finally speechless.

i couldn't help but kiss back, i'm going to miss her warmth, i'm going to miss her touch, i'm going to miss her, but there's nothing i can do but sit back and watch her walk away.

she pulled back, her forehead leaning against mine, her eyes were adoring and passionate, the way she looked at me made me want to cry even more, no one has a more gentle look than Gal's.

"before i made my way over to your house, i wrote you a letter, i'm not going to tell you to open it now, i want you to open it when you want to. i wrote it for you, and i talk about everything i wanted to say, because i knew i would never have the words to speak, so instead i wrote it down."

she pulled out a letter from the back of her pocket and handed it to me, part of me wanted to rip it open and read it now, but the other part didn't want to open it at all, i was conflicted, but i knew i was going to keep it.

"i don't often create much promises but i'll promise you this, one day i'll see you again. i don't know when, but i will, as long as you don't forget me."

"i couldn't forget you even if i tried, Gal. that's the problem. you're all i could think about."

"i'll keep you in my heart, Sarah"

"you shouldn't, that's not fair to Chris" i smiled weakly. "he's such a good guy, least you could do is love him the way he loves you."

her staying silence to my response gave me all the reasons to walk away, and so i did, plastering the biggest smile on my face as i made my way back to my mother, coming to terms that Gal was leaving, and i needed to move on with my life.