Animal Instinct

5- So good

You, you make me feel so good, you make me feel so good, you make me feel so good

I tried to keep my mind as busy as possible, by gardening or cooking with my grandmother while fighting back the overwhelming thought of Miles, but everything seemed to be against me, starting with the chills that I felt under my skin, every time I thought about our close bodies.

For this reason, the next morning, when I saw Miles on the porch, talking to my grandmother, I couldn't say whether I might like it or if I was terribly annoyed.

-What are ya doing here?- I confronted him, going towards him with my arms crossed.

-Your father gave us the morning off and I thought to apologize to you again.

-I don't want your apology. Just leave me alone!

-Come in, love, sit down and have breakfast with us, I prepared some scones- my grandmother invited him, ignoring my desperate nods.

After eating, Miles helped her to clear the table, I went upstairs to get dressed and I listened that they were chatting amiably.

- "What a pimp"- I thought as I was brushing my teeth- "ya can fool all of me family, but I don't care anymore: go to Hell, ya and your cursed Kanetor!"

I went back downstairs to see that Miles was still there; he looked at me expectantly, but I ignored him, so my grandmother intervened.

-Why don't ya go for a walk along the canal?

I couldn't say no to Nan, so I grabbed reluctantly the straw hat that I used to protect myself from the sun, to avoid the proliferation of freckles, and I walked out, with Miles who trotted behind me like a puppy.

We walked for a long way in silence. It was a path that was always deserted: on one side there was a channel, on the other, pastures populated by sheep only.

-Such a peaceful place!- said Miles suddenly- I would like to stay here forever.

He seemed sad, I couldn't believe that a guy like him, used to travel around the world and with the reputation of a celebrity, could appreciate the tranquility of a remote Westmeath village.

-To be frank, bog land is a boring place- I said.

-Boredom is a feeling that I know well.

-Are ya kidding me?- I asked surprised.

-There are days, when we can't even leave the hotel; we see the sun outside and instead we are forced to stay confined in the rooms; boredom consumes us and in the end, nothing distracts us.

He was finally showing his human side, he had lost all his arrogance and he was opening his heart.

-To us, the musicians, it goes better than to Liam, but believe me, he can't take a step without a bodyguard, or eating in peace without an adoring crowd staring at him or girls who bother him continuously: it's exhausting.

-Ya should tell that to me brother: he sees celebrity like a mirage, he identifies it with the gains.

-What's the point in having the money, if you can't go to stores to spend it? Or in having a powerful car, if you can't go around? Or in having many lovers, if the one you choose is constantly attacked?

I instinctively grabbed his hand and squeezed it, he seemed to smile again.

-And do you know what the worst thing of all is? That you never know if people around you are sincere. You don't know what a relief it was, when I saw that you hated me! Because now I can say with certainty, that this handshake is genuine and that if I'll try to kiss you, any reaction of yours will be spontaneous.