Make It Without You

Chapter 32: Forever Loved

A/N: A disclaimer: I'm not an expert in the medical field, so please forgive me if there are some factual errors and lapses (in the previous and future chapters). Everything related to the field that I've written so far were from research and from talking to people who've gone through the same thing.

For the miscarriage chapters, I was inspired by a six-word short story commonly attributed to Ernest Hemingway (although no proof exists that he really wrote this): "For sale: baby shoes, never worn."

This is a more hopeful chapter, for what it's worth.

And yes, we're near the end. Sorry for the slow updates — I have a job (which I enjoy and which pays the bills) and I've been busy with work.

#MIWOY32

———
———

On Christmas Eve, naalimpungatan si Gabo nang nagising siya around 7 am at wala na si Billy sa tabi niya.

In the past few days, to Gabo's relief, Billy was warming up to him again. They'd always been affectionate towards each other, but following the miscarriage, Billy had clammed up. Gabo would be lying if he said he didn't miss being able to hug and kiss her freely. It wasn't the sex he missed — it was their basic intimacy. He didn't push her, though. He wanted to simply let her know he was there for her to lean on when she needed him.

After her conversations with Mik and Tony, Billy had finally stopped consciously withdrawing from Gabo, but both of them knew it would be a slow road to recovery. As much as Gabo always ached to tighten his hugs and kiss Billy a little longer, he respected her feelings and contented himself with the amount of affection Billy was willing to give and take for now.

Halimbawa, unang beses ulit nilang matulog na magkayakap kagabi. Billy was expecting to feel guilty about needing Gabo's warmth, but instead, she only felt extremely comforted. And so did he. Because they resumed their natural sleeping position, pareho silang maayos ang tulog for the first time since their stressful experience at the hospital.

Bumangon si Gabo at kinuha ang cellphone niya, his heart pounding a little louder. Where could she be at this hour? Pareho naman kaming walang trabaho at Pasko na bukas. Did she leave again? Mabilis siyang lumabas sa kwarto nila.

Nakita niya agad na nakabukas ang mga ilaw sa baba ng bahay. May naamoy din siyang matamis. He went downstairs and was surprised to see Billy busy wrapping presents in the living area. Mukhang may nakasalang din sa isa sa mga oven nila.

Billy saw him in her peripheral vision kaya tumingin siya. "Hi," she said with an easy smile. "Good morning." Mas nagulat pa si Gabo nang tumayo si Billy at lumapit sa kanya para humalik sa pisngi niya.

Gabo pressed his lips to her temple. "You're up early," he said. And in a good mood, too.

"It's Christmas Eve," Billy said with a shrug, like that explained everything. Bumalik siya sa ginagawa. "Can you check the oven? Those are supposed to be done any minute now."

Sumunod agad si Gabo sa pakiusap ni Billy. Sleep now out of his mind, he went to the kitchen and peeked into the oven. He saw that Billy had made pudding, of all things. He watched them closely and when they looked done, did a toothpick test just to be sure before pulling them out and putting the pans on the counter to cool. Pagkatapos ay bumalik siya sa sala para tulungan si Billy sa pagbabalot ng mga regalo. They finished quickly kahit na pasulyap-sulyap si Gabo kay Billy.

"I'll finish making breakfast," Gabo offered. "You can go back to sleep if you want. Gigisingin na lang kita."

Umiling si Billy. "I'll wake up the kids," sabi niya at umakyat na para pumunta sa mga anak.