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•|• A special

#StopIslamophobia

•A special•

A/N: hey y'all. So I decided to do a special chapter, hope y'all enjoy!

"Soobin, stop it! Just because your seventeen now, it doesn't give you the right to act this way! When I say no it still means no!" I screamed, right then Soobin took his phone out and threw it against the wall. Infuriated I huffed and unknowingly to me I started crying while standing in front of him with a hurt expression on his face. "Mom, why do you always do this? I don't like Yeri!"

"Soobin, she's your childhood best friend. I've never forced you to like her, I just asked why you bullied her for the past two years! You were never like this before!"

"I'm not a child anymore, mom!" With that he stormed off into his room, shutting his bedroom door behind him with a loud bang. I fell to the ground hopeless and sighed in frustration, I brought my knees up to my chest and started sobbing. If I had known that my actions of trying to get Soobin to always be there with Yeri would let him act like this to her then I would've never even introduced the two. After all Jisoo was hesitant to let Yeri stay here because she knew that Soobin can get like this. Soobin isn't a bad kid, he's a good one in fact but he's been depressed a lot lately for years and honestly I don't know what to do.

I'm stuck all alone, Namjoon is serving in the military so I can't just call him to talk to his son.

Jisoo is on a business trip with taehyung so I can't tell her that Soobin decided to make Yeri's life miserable, al though she wouldn't be angry but she would disappointed because Yeri did agree to stay here in the first place too. I don't know what to do and who to talk to. If only they were here, if only we could turn back time to when we were still young. It isn't easy raising a child alone and the fact that they're going through puberty doesn't make it easier. I stopped crying and stood up, with a heart so heavy that it could probably sink to the floor or fall out of my chest and to the floor I trudged to the dimly lit hallways. My tears were dried up and made my cheeks sticky so I went to the bathroom and was about to wash my face.

But instead I stared at my reflection.

Tired, lifeless and worthless.

My eyes were blood shot and there were dark circles under my eyes, I looked like I haven't slept nor taken care of myself in weeks and my body...I held my arms and grimaced in horror. I didn't realize I lost this much weight, then I stared into the mirror again and that's when I realized how thin I became and how pale I've gotten. It was pathetic to look at.

I dropped my head down and washed my face but even so I started to cry again and again, my heart felt so hurt and I felt weak. A knife was laying on the counter sink and it compelled me to thoughts I should've never even have thought but I was too weak to fight them, I didn't have a choice and I felt miserable and guilty. My fingers trailed on the the knife that seemed to shine as if trying to tell me that this was the only solution to end this misery.

I tightly clutched onto the knife and held it above my wrist, tracing my pulse with it before pressing it harder into my skin. The pain was horrible, blood started to flow out and I dropped the knife to the ground before collapsing. With one last tear droplet falling down my cheek as I closed my eyes. I knew that Namjoon was gonna be heart broken and feel like it was his fault for going to the military in the first place, leaving his whole family behind and not knowing that they lived in misery and had almost no human beings they know to help them through their dark times. But at this point it was all too much for me to handle as I knew that this would've happened sooner or later.

"It wasn't your fault Namjoon, goodbye."

Namjoon POV
I bolted out of my bed in horror and shock. My heart was racing thumping fast through my chest and I was breathing heavily. I panted, brushing my hair back and feeling the sweat droplets against my cold skin.

Y/N...

My thoughts were circulating around my head, almost causing me to feel dizzy. I started to panic,"Y/N!!!" I called out in fear and pulled my hair. What was that? Was it a dream? It can't be real, right? There's no way Y/N would take her own life like that...right? Please don't let it be true.

A hand was placed on my shoulder, the hairs on my skin almost went up due to the sudden warmth that was coming from the hand. I shook violently, shaking my head in denial every time one of the dreaded questions appeared in my mind and tears streamed down my cheeks against my own will. To say I was scared was an understatement because I was beyond scared, no words could describe the dreaded and terrified emotions that I was feeling and that was eating me alive.

"Dad? Are you okay?" Soobin's voice manages to bring me back to reality as it calmed me down in a bit, he patted my back and I wiped my tears away and blew my nose. I turned around and noticed that he was in his pajamas and for a second I don't know why but it made me feel a little bit better and calmed my thoughts even more thinking that it could've just been a terrible bad dream and that it was all over.

"Go back to sleep binnie. Dad is alright, okay? Also where's your mom, soobinnie?" Soobin's eyes widened and his lips started to quiver, sadness struck his eyes and I could tell that he was struggling to say something. "Soobin?" I asked, suddenly he bursted into tears and hugged me tightly.

"Mom passed away last month, remember?"