AMaZiNg GrAyCE and the Amazing Race!

Chapter 14: Time Flies

Chapter 14: Time Flies

I sit now at my desk, looking into the baby swing cradling my daughter. She is nothing short of a miracle, from conception and until birth.

So yeah, this is where I am right now. I am still working to finish my comic with only a month left and it's all due to fate.

My daughter is a dream come true. She makes me want to do better. I love her more than anything. She is truly Amazing. Not GrAyCE though. GrAyCE is based on me not knowing who I am and always wanting to go back and fix mistakes to save the world and my baby doesn't need to go back. She will know who she is and what she is: love, hope, beauty, faith, strength, determination, tenacity and my peace. We call her Fate, because she truly has to be.

I cherish everything about her. She is the only person I know that is biologically related to me. She looks like me. She has her dad's smile, dimpled chin and hair color but she has my eyes, nose and cheeks. She even has my ears. She really looks like me and I am truly amazed.

It has been 11 months since I won the contest. I have a two month old daughter and I am about to start another school year. I look back at last year and shake my head in disbelief at how easily life can change. I will soon finally be done with my comic. After staring at Fate for some time, I realized that I needed to know where I came from. I am meeting my Aces tonight. We are meeting at Jessie and James'. They had another daughter, Narissa, only two weeks ago. She was born four weeks early but is doing well. Jessie had to have an emergency C-section so she wasn't up for going out.

When we get to their place, we take turns gushing over both Narissa and Fate. When I see Natasha, who is almost four now, she tells me she has a baby Fate now. I think she is so adorable. When we had Fate, and Natasha saw her for the first time, Jessie told her she was having a baby girl also and it would be her sister. After her sister was born, she announced she had a Fate too.

Her parents told her that her name was Narissa, and she says that she knows, but still refers to her as her Fate. I don't understand the three year old logic enough to get where she is going with this theory, but I am sure it makes sense to her. We sit in the living room. Narissa is asleep in her bedroom. Richard sits holding Fate with Natasha sitting right next to him, waiting her turn. Jessie walks out from the bedroom and sits next to me.

"You look good Jessie." I tell her.

"I really don't, but thanks. I think I look like how I feel, it's like I just had a surgery. This was worse than having a kidney removed."

"I kept telling her it's because she didn't have to move around so much back then. We didn't have the girls so she could basically just rest." James interjects.

"Plus, your kidney isnt as cute as Narissa is." Richard adds on with a smile. "So, she is more worth it."

"Fate is getting so big." Jessie says, looking at her. "I think looking at Narissa makes her seem bigger though since she is so small."

We all agree on that one. "Fate is getting some color now. At first I thought, she was going to be a white girl like you." Jessie says in a teasing tone.

"I think she will actually end up being darker than Zoe." Beth says seriously.

"No she won't." Jessie shakes her head, "Zoe, aren't you only half Black? I mean I know you don't know for sure, but I think it's pretty obvious."

"I don't know what my biological parents are, but you know I go as Black. That's how I am seen and how I feel. Richard is White, so Fate is half and half."

"But she is probably actually only a quarter." Jessie reasons.

I roll my eyes but don't say anything.

"Zoe, why don't you ask James now?" Richard asks. I know what he is talking about, but I feel put on the spot and don't want to say anything now.

"Ask what?" James asks, shifting his attention towards me.

"It's nothing... I'm not even sure yet." I shake my head at Richard.

"Zoe, just ask." He insists.

"I'm not even sure if I want it though." The tips of my ears started to get hot in embarrassment.

"You do. Don't get scared." Richard says.

I look at James who is looking at me now for answers.

"Um.. well... since having Fate, I actually started wondering who my birth parents might be, like how they look. I don't know, I was thinking about finding them if it was possible. And since you are great at solving cases, I was thinking maybe you could help me."

"Of course!" He shot up in excitement. "You remember my former partner, Mel, right?"

I look at Jessie who can't help but roll her eyes.

"She is actually opening her own private detective business and specializing in finding people." James says, with a hint of pride in his voice.

"Yeah, but she asked for your help, James, and you don't work with Mel." Jessie says.

"I told you I was thinking about it."

"And I told you to stop thinking about it because you are stable financially at LAPD, we have two kids now, and you can't quit that to gamble on a new start up company."

"So, I can't help Zoe?" James asks Jessie who is folding her arms across her chest.

"Of course you can help Zoe. You don't have to work with Mel to do that." Jessie snapped.

"It's literally what her new business is focused on, why would I not refer to her?"

"Because Zoe asked you. Stop arguing with me. I am still in pain from having our daughter cut out of me and you want to work with your ex? Boy bye." Jessie starts to get upset.

Beth jumps in and changes the subject to calm Jessie down. We talk about the baby's smiles and instinct smiles versus real smiles. Richard looks it up and reads that a real smile is in reaction to something like a mother's smile or seeing a bottle when hungry.

"A real smile lights up the baby's whole face." Richard reads.

After an hour or so, Jessie can't hang anymore and goes to lay down. Within minutes of her leaving the room, James brings up the topic of finding my parents again and says he will help me find them.

I let him know that I don't expect a miracle. I am aware that they may be on drugs, in jail, too rich to care, or even dead. This is not about having a relationship with them as I have no interest in that, but just knowing where my daughter gets her cheek bones or what genetic challenges she might have. I have always had female reproductive health problems and I want to know if she will be prone to them as well or if that is just a me thing.

"I get it. Just know it will take some time. They'll be found though." He says.

"I'll understand if you can't find them." I tell him as I rock Fate in my arms.

"Zoe, I will find them. I was just saying it may take a while, but trust me, okay?" he says confidently.

I do trust him. He is a great detective and so is Mel. I never thought I would want to actually find my birth parents again. Even if I did, I didn't think it would actually happen. Hearing James say that he will find them, I just know he will and that makes me really apprehensive. I almost want to take it all back and tell him never mind. However, I don't take it back. When I get home, I write.