Forever & Always

Trust Again : 9

Hailey's pov:
     Topper calms me down and brings me back to the château in his truck. He didn't want me to walk back at night.
     "Thanks for the ride Top." I say grabbing my surfboard out of the truck bed.
     "Anytime Hails." He smiles. "Goodnight." He says and drives off. I get back inside my window, shut it, and lock it. I turn around to see John B in my doorway. I freeze. He walks in and shuts the door. He has a scowl on his face.
     "I knew you and Topper weren't just friends!" He yells startling me.
     "Huh?" I say in a normal voice not having the strength to yell.
     "JJ saw you on the fucking beach! Don't play dumb! And why the hell were you surfing?" I start to feel a little dizzy because of his yelling, but continue to talk to him.
     "We are just friends JB. I swear. What he saw on the beach was a misunderstanding. I just wanted to see if surfing would make me feel better but I was wrong. Where is he? I want to talk to him about this." I say still in a calm normal voice.
     "JJ!" John B yells and JJ comes in. He looks horrible and pissed off. I give him a sympathetic look. "I'll leave this to you two." John B says in a normal voice this time.
     "Why did you do it?" He yells. "I haven't done anything wrong for you to cheat on me! Sure I'm a sucky friend, boyfriend, and person in general but I trusted you! You are the only person I've ever loved! And for you to-" My ears start ringing and I wince and grab my head. This has always been a symptom after my anxiety attacks. Sometimes it gets really bad and I pass out. He continues to yell but all I hear is the ringing getting louder. I know what this means.
     "JJ." I say quietly. He doesn't hear me. "JJ." I try again but it's not any louder. I use all the strength I have left to yell. "JJ!" He stops yelling and looks at me fuming. My vision starts to go blurry. "Help..." I whisper falling to the ground. Then there is the all too familiar darkness.
     I woke up on the floor JJ holding me. I groan and start to shake. He starts to stroke my hair. I can't hear anything and my vision is still a little fuzzy. I see JJ's mouth moving but can't tell what he is saying. After a few minutes my hearing returns and my vision is back to normal. I put a hand on his chest.
     "I didn't cheat." I whisper giving him a tiny smile. "I swear I didn't. Topper was just helping me because I was having a panic attack." He stayed silent so I kept going. "I went to go surf to see if it would make me feel better. I know you guys wouldn't have approved, so I snuck out again. I thought when I got on my board I would feel relieved and relaxed and... just... normal again." I say starting to cry again.
"Shh. It's okay. I'm still a little pissed but I understand." He says wiping a stray tear that ran down my cheek. I try to sit up and hug him.
     "No you need to stay laying down." He says.
     "JJ this is just from my anxiety attack. Not my heart. It's happened before on multiple accounts."
"It has?" He says raising his eyebrows in shock. I nod.
"Just help me sit up." I say and he does as I tell him to. I lean against his chest, still a little weak. He puts his neck on my shoulder and wraps his arms around me. I instantly felt safe and relaxed. Finally!
I'm a little sad he thought I would cheat on him in the first place but I understood why. Plus it was with Topper so he had a decent reason to assume the worst.
     He helps me stand and walk into the living area. Everyone was sitting in there. He sits down on the couch and I sit on his lap. He tells the Pogues about me fainting, the anxiety attack, and about the misunderstanding.
"Shit did we cause the attack? If we did I'm so sorry!" Kie says.
     "I tried surfing." I say and Kie gasped. "I'm okay but I don't think I'll do it again for awhile."
"Is that what caused the panic attack?" Pope asks.
"I think so. At first I thought it was my heart being pushed too far, but then I got the regular symptoms of a panic attack. I had just stood up on my board when I felt it and it scared me shitless. I lost focus and went under." I started to tear up and JJ pulled me closer to him. "I felt like I was drowning. Like I was having the accident all over again." I looked at Sarah and saw her expression change from mad to concerned. I was crying into JJ now. He was rubbing small circles on my back to comfort me.
     "It's okay Hails. You don't have to tell us anymore. We understand." Sarah says. It makes me feel a lot better now that she's talking to me.
     "Although none of us like Topper we can tolerate him for you if it makes you happy. We won't be friends with him, ever. I also don't want him inside the château either. You can do whatever you want. It's your life. Just don't say we didn't warn you." John B says.
     "I want to tell you all something. I told Topper this before I told you and I'm sorry for that. It was like word vomit and I couldn't stop." I pause. "I dance. Not just in the screwing around way, but like professionally. As professional as I could get with just being a regular teenager."
     "Well show us something." Pope says.
     "I- I don't know, even if I do I'm not going to be doing much."
     "We know baby. Keeping your heart rested is our and your number one priority right now. If you want to show us something then do something small and not too intense. Only if you can because... hell you just fainted." JJ says a little bit concerned.
     "I'm fine J. I'll just do a complex turn sequence. I might be a little rusty it's been almost 2 years." They seem to be excited. I stand up preparing myself. (watch the video above. Hailey does the first combo)
     I nail the sequence and everyone sits there stunned. I definitely got lucky that I didn't fall or bobble one of my turns. Everyone clapped.
     "You never cease to amaze me." JJ says. Everyone nods in agreement.
     "Well I'm going to go take a must needed shower." I say getting ready to walk off.
     "We were going to go to The Wreck for a little since it's going to close soon. I want you to come H." Kie says.
     "Go ahead without me. I really want to take a shower."
     "Alright. But you have to go with us next time no matter what." Kie says. I nod and walk off.
     I let the warm water soak my body. I start to wash my hair. I'm enjoying my shower until the curtain opens slightly.
     "What the fuck!" I scream but then realize it's JJ. A naked JJ. I thought he went to The Wreck with everyone else. He steps in the shower. He looks me up and down and then kisses me putting his hands on my face. I wrap my arms around his neck.
     "I thought you were going to The Wreck." I say as I pull apart from him.
     "I didn't want to go if you weren't going." He said going back to kissing me. He goes down to my neck, being careful not to leave any marks. He moves down to my chest now. He looks up at me for consent and I nod. His lips work wonders against my skin. I let out a moan and I feel him smile. He knows what he's doing. -Y'all know what happens after this-
     "Your hair is really soft after you wash it you know." He says. I just dried my hair with my blow dryer. I sat in front of JJ, in just my towel, as he played with my hair.
     "What are you doing to it JJ? I need to go get dressed before they all come ba-"
     "Shh. Stop fussing I'm just braiding it." He says softly.
     "You know how to braid?"
     "Yes. Kie taught me when we were little. I still remember how to do it. So now I'm doing it to your hair." He pauses. "It'll look so cute when I'm done." He says in a high pitched girl voice. I laugh at that.
After he finishes braiding my hair I get dressed and everyone comes back from The Wreck. We all hung out for a bit then went off to bed. I noticed JJ wasn't looking as happy as he was earlier.
"What's going on J?" I asked softly as I shut the door behind me.
"I'm starting to feel like shit. I feel bad because now I might get you sick, since I fucked you earlier." He said smirking at that last bit. I felt my face heat up and I laid down in the bed next to him.
"As long as you take care of me if I get sick I'll be okay baby." I say. He lays his head on my chest and puts his arms around me. I start playing with his hair lightly, since he loves when I do it.
"Your tits are comfy. You're my new favorite pillow." I giggle at that. Even when JJ doesn't feel good he always has something to say. "Can you sing to me please?" He says and looks up at me. "It'll put me to sleep." He smiles lightly.
"Okay fine. Only because you don't feel good." I say. I decide to sing the song my mom used to sing. I think about her singing to me as I sing to JJ. "All these questions keep turning and churning and burning inside me. What are these feelings I feel when he's here by my side. I need to know these answers. I need to find my way. Seize my tomorrow. Learn my yesterday. I need to take these chances. Let all my feelings show. Can't tell what's waiting. Still I need to go. I need to know..." I look down and JJ is sleeping on my chest. I smile and drift off to sleep still thinking about my mom.

sorry it's taking me longer to get these chapters up i had a writers block for this chapter and for the next chapter, im going to try and get the other chapters out as fast as possible so i can get started on a different book for rudy pankow