The Diary of Mei

XVII

    I left for school early this morning listening to my audio notes for my test this morning. The morning air was cold but spring is present. Small buds bloomed here and there. Green grass shoots poked out the snow. And the sun rays warmth reached you. Uyu met me halfway to school. It was odd because he was coming from a different direction than his home, and it was much earlier than when he usually starts his walk to school. I  meant to ask him about his early morning but nothing else seemed to be off. I thought to myself I must be sleep-deprived, and things just aren't processing the way they should be. He just seemed to always be there when I need him, and I think that's what I love about him the most. We seem to be connected in a way you only books and movies described.

     We went over the speech I had prepared for my parents. I'm confronting them tonight. I am going back to school. Somehow Uyu was there at the end of each of my classes to walk me to the next one. He went with me to my quick algebra class with Evan, and on the walk back we made two more audio notes for my next two quizzes at the end of the week, Algebra and literature. I missed hearing about the upcoming play. We hadn't talked about it for the past few weeks. I haven't had time to stop by and see the progress since I've been doing school double time.

Uyu walked me all the way up to the house side door. Before he walked away he squeezed my hand. As he walked down the driveway dad pulled in inches from colliding, but they both never acknowledged one another.

Walking into the house I remember a few things before the confrontation. Reaching into the fridge to pull out the Brita, and collecting a few glasses to fill with water. I placed three glasses at the table with enough room in between. Mom came out of the bedroom in a frenzy. I had been out later than usual, and I had left earlier than usual. Truly blowing my cover. When dad walked in the side door I asked if I could talk to them as soon as possible about something important. They both looked worried and confused. I'm sure my expression mirrored theirs but I knew I needed to pull myself together, and seem confident this truly was important. They each took a spot at the table, and I placed a glass at each of their spots. I closed my eyes and asked if they could let me finish what I needed to say before they made their responses. Taking a deep breath I repeated what I had been going over in my head over and over. Like lines in a movie. Or a line in a catchy song.

"Mom, Dad, I love to learn. My education is really important to me. I've worked as hard as I know how to put education in its proper place. I've had some ups and downs with comprehension, my mental struggles, and emotions. My education is really important to me. And I'm the one who has to grow up and live with my decisions. So I think it's fair that I decide what type of education I get. I want you to be proud of me, and I want you to see me happy. I want us all to be happy but I've realized I can only do so much for everyone's feelings. I think with my circumstances it's better that I stay in public school." I pulled out a printed copy of my most recent grades at public school. And Evan wrote a letter for me reviewing my progress in Algebra that I handed over to my mother to read. I knew it was straight forward and a bit bland but it was something. Everyone in my study group also signed a letter recording my attendance in study groups and confirmed my improving grades. My heartfelt lighter as I handed over the "proof".

"I know I went behind your back and kept going to school even though the new arrangement of homeschooling me, but I feel it is the right thing to do. That's why I'm being honest with you." I paused and lowered my eyes waiting for their response.

But they were staying quiet. There was only two way this conversation would go, but there was only one outcome. I would keep going to school. It's what I needed. My support system was there. I needed experience not only was the system better for me in school, but I needed an environment where I could grow. A place where I could learn to communicate. I needed to stick up for myself, learn to make my own decisions. My education was for me not anyone else. My school experience would prepare me for how I would face the world.

A calm set over me as I reminded myself everything would be okay. These were my parents I was talking to. I know they want the best for me. When I looked up at them they both had tears in their eyes, and it brought tears to my eyes. All around it was an emotional moment because I was opening up to them. Differences of opinions were shared. We didn't all agree. But that was fine. We found a compromise. I would go to public school, but I also had some extra learning to do at home, and my mom promised to be more involved.

So just like that communicating was working. It was tough but it was working. That night when everyone was asleep I called Uyu, and told him everything. He was so quiet on the phone mainly just listened. For some reason, I heard an echo on the phone so much it was like I was mainly talking to myself. Despite that inconvenience, it was good to talk things through and hear myself clearly.