Despair

Exhaustion

??:??

Daniel

I could hear bickering and complaining as I drift to sleep. So nice, to finally be in bed; so comfy, to finally try to sleep. Life just doesn't prepare you for multiple unnatural events in one go like a good night's sleep. Except in my case, it's the morning. Goodie.

As I fall deeper into my sleep, I find myself outright avoiding the dreamscape, and just sleeping amongst the darkness.

"Comforting...darkness? I suppose?" I hear, around me quietly, hut quite audible.

"Hmmm, yes, I don't feel like I have the energy to dream about anything." I mumble back, eyes closed, relaxing within the dreamless area. "You can prod around, however, be quiet, and let me sleep. It's been...well, I cannot even begin to explain.."

I note hearing a small sigh of frustration, and just drifted...to....sleep.

Shadow

He seems grumpy. And I don't think that it is in my best interest to wake him. Might as well do as he suggested. I drift off into a different corner of the mind, looking for where things could be. Almost out of sight, I notice a few memories around. I touch one, and grab ahold of it.

A family together, smiling. The parents seem young, and the children-- toddlers. It looks festive and bright, looking to be a Christmas that was mystical and peaceful. It looks much different than what I expected. Did something happen?

I let go of that memory, and begin to search for more. There's bound to be something that gives me what caused him to be..him. I could tell a pit of hope was within his soul.

I spotted a new cluster of memories, and drifted over to them, and grabbed another. This one had a picture of the same family around the same time of year, and they seem well off and happy. Except for one child. The smallest and youngest looked tired and defeated, like he was threatened to smile...or else. Growing worried, I continue my search into his past.

A preteen with self esteem bottoming out.

A teenager seeking a high from self mutilation and drugs.

A young adult kicked out of his home after a suicide attempt.

And before this all, previously resolved to kill himself by the pizzeria.

Now in the present, he's satisfied with what he has, and concerned for the well being of himself and the others at the pizzeria.

It's something to be jealous about the end result, but the path to it...long and disturbing.

I feel a suction of dim light pouring in. Daniel must be waking up. I stop my search, and leave what remains be.

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A couple of facts to give off:

I am (now) a student in college. Writing fanfictions is a nice past time.

Your comments peppered through the fic makes my day. (And makes me stop and read what I wrote, yes, I do read my own stuff from time to time to keep everything tidy.)

When not at school, I work. I live. I human, depending on the day.

Motivation is hard in a COVID world.

Now that is addressed, I'll see y'all around next chapter.