Handwriting (Gaster X Reader)

So Maybe I'm Not Okay

I sat in Alphys' lab, trying not to look at the concerned faces of my friends. Instead, I stared at my SOUL that hovered in front of me in a glass container.

It was a pale lilac and represented the newly discovered trait of affection. It warmed the air around me and cast a light glow on my face.

But today, there was a black gooey substance coating the edge of my SOUL, blocking some of the light.

Alphys had managed to take a sample of it and was examining it under a microscope. Sans was giving me worried glances.

"Is my SOUL okay?" I asked quietly, tearing my eyes away from it.

"I-I don't know," Alphys admitted, "I've never seen this substance before, s-so I don't know what it can do."

The glow from my SOUL dimmed, and my SOUL itself sank a little in its container.

I let out a soft, "Oh," and looked down at the ground. A feeling of hopelessness was beginning to set in and my mind began to race. What if the goo spread and covered my SOUL? Would it slowly crush my SOUL until it crumbles and kills me?

Sans took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"cheer up, (y/n), i'm sure that we'll work out what the goo is," he said. "everything will be fine."

"I'm trying to believe that, but something's telling me that it won't be." My voice was quiet and monotonous.

"D-Don't talk like that, (Y/N)," Alphys piped up, trying to sound cheerful. "We'll figure this out."

I nodded absent-mindedly, staring into the glass. For a split second, I could see the grinning face of the strange being from earlier reflected in the glass. It waved at me.

I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see the strange being.

"whatcha looking for?"

"Nothing," I lied, "I just thought I saw something in the glass, that's all."

Alphys frowned and hastily scribbled something down on a notepad. I narrowed my eyes.

"Can I put my SOUL back now?" I asked, trying to keep the irritation out of my voice.

"Y-Yes! Sorry, I kind of left you exposed there." Alphys laughed sheepishly and unlocked the container. My SOUL floated for a few seconds before I cupped it in my hands and returned it to its rightful place.

That feels better.

"Do you need me to stay here, or is it okay if I go home?"

"Y-You can go, I'll text you if I make a breakthrough." Alphys gave me a smile, and I returned it.

"you ready to go?"

Sans held out his arm, and I took it. With a loud pop!, I was in my living room, all alone.

I sunk down on my sofa, pulling a notebook and pen out from under it. Flicking to a new page, I pulled the lid off my pen and began to write.

Something's wrong with my SOUL, but no one knows what it is. There's a dark goo around it that seems to suck the light out of the room.

I have a theory that it's connected to something that I've always been afraid of, but I don't dare write it down. Words hold too much power.

I saw something strange earlier, and again in the lab. It was a creature of some sort. Its face was the only thing I could see when I was washing my face at Grillby's, but at the lab I could see some of its body. It looked exactly like the goo that was around my SOUL, so maybe that thing connected itself to me? That would explain why no one else can see it.

What I find really weird is that when I saw the creature, I felt...odd. It was like I had seen it before but didn't exactly remember where. I also had the strange urge to give it a hug, which was probably the weirdest thing.

I don't know what the creature is, but I hope that it doesn't try and hurt me. It seems friendly, so I should be fine, right?

~ ~ ~

I decided that after two weeks of care, I was ready to leave the LAB.

I argued with the doctor until he eventually gave in, on the conditions that I stayed with him until we could find a proper place for me to live.

The River Person took us from Hotland to wherever the doctor lived. But as we went through Waterfall, I noticed something in the trash piles.

"Hey, River Person, could you stop for a minute?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Of course. Tra la la."

The boat hadn't even stopped completely before I jumped off, running over to a large pile of trash.

"(Y/N), what've you seen?"

I ignored him.

With shaking hands, I picked up a small box that had been thrown away. I opened it, revealing several items that I thought I would never see again.

A picture that showed me at my last prom, another picture of me as a child, a dried flower and a shell attached to a chain.

Tears threatened to spill as I reached down to the pile, using my spare hand to rummage through it.

Everything there was mine. My baby clothes were there, my old school books, everything.

My family had thrown it all away.

Someone put a hand on my shoulder. "(Y/N), is everything alright?"

"They threw all my stuff away," I said, holding back a sob.

"Who did?" His voice was calm, but I could tell that he was hiding his irritation at the person responsible.

"My parents." With those two words, the dam burst and I began to cry. All of my emotions merged into despair.

He seemed shocked for a few seconds at my sudden cries, but pulled me closer to him in a hug so comforting I didn't know what to do.

"It's okay," he said soothingly, "I know that this must be hard for you, but you aren't alone down here. I am here for you."

I had never had someone tell me that before. But god, was I thankful.