Denying Destiny

Paradox

Killian's POV

Nung sinabi nilang Stacy has temporary retrograde amnesia and that she forgot nine months of her memories from the incident, I couldn't believe it. Does that even happen in real life? I counted, and the chances that she'll not remember me was huge. I had to see it for myself. Na hindi nya ko naaalala. Hindi ko matatanggap na hindi nya ko maaalala.

I convinced the doctor na papasukin nya ko sa room while they're talking to her. Baka pag nakita nya ko, maalala nya ko bigla. Ako yata yung umaasang para tong teleserye. That she can magically get her memories back upon seeing me. Unrealistic, pero umasa pa rin ako.

I stood behind her doctor, wearing a lab coat as a disguise. Ayaw ng doctor nyang mastress sya because while I was away, she suffered a seizure which nearly killed her. I rushed back and parang mamamatay na din ako habang nag hinihintay ng result sa nangyari sa kanya.

Her eyes passed every one of her family members with familiarity. But when she looked at me with a blank expression then her sight passed me as she focused on those familiar faces sa harap nya, my heart was crushed. She didn't remember me. She didn't even give me a second glance.

I was a part of her forgotten memories. Our love was.

* * * * *

"It will depend, Atty. Roxas. She suffered a major head trauma. Her memories may take weeks, months or even years to come back. We need to monitor on how fast she recovers from the injury, then we can have a range how soon she can start to remember what she lost..." Her doctor explained.

Start. Her recovery didn't equate to her memories coming back.

"However, it's important we ease her into it. Let her remember on her own, at her own brain's pace. We can't trigger her brain, to be safe. She can't afford any more seizures since it can possibly damage any of her brain's function..."

It was too much for me to take in. Masakit. This shouldn't be happening to Stacy—almost dying and losing her memories. Ako dapat yung nandyan sa sitwasyon nya ngayon hindi sya.

Regina was in the same hospital recovering from our security's gunshot wound. It was so easy for me to go to her and end her life and all of this. But if Stacy is suffering here, she deserves a hundred times more. Pero kahit na ikulong ulit si Regina at mamamatay syang nandon, it wasn't enough. Not for me dahil panalo pa rin sya. She took away everything I had like she said she would.

"Buhay sya, that's what's important Killian." Stacy's mom comforted me habang nakaupo nako sa sahig ng hospital hallway.

I don't deserve her comfort. Nandito si Stacy dahil saakin. Because I wasn't able to protect her. I endangered her from the moment I introduced her to Regina since ako yung nakakaalam what she was capable of. I did this to her.

Maybe Stacy not remembering me was what I deserved. Para hindi ko na sya mapahamak. It was the pain I deserved.

* * * * *

"Lian, tita, tito, please. It would be safer for her if she just forgets me." I was already crying. Nagmamakaawa nako sa best friend nya at sa magulang nya na iwan nako sa alaala ni Stacy. "And what if she remembers everything? You?" Her dad asked me.