Last of Us - Bucky Barnes Fanfic

18. Is Fear Itself

A/N: I've added what I could for Bucky POV. Another note is at the end of the chapter. Enjoy.

Jessie laid on the cot she called a bed. It had been three hours since Bucky had gone out for a night watch. She had been worrying about him though he was only scouting the streets from the rooftops, but it was a difficult process. Sure, there weren't any Hydra soldiers on the rooftops of buildings but they did use jets which fly above the hideout area every hour or so. Jessie sat up and looked out the broken window seeing the fog from earlier had lifted. The smell of rain hung in the air causing it to seem fresh. The Sergeant's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps and mumbling. Jessie turned her head to see Bruce walking over to his own cot.

"Something bothering you, Dr. Banner?" Jessie questioned, slightly startling the man. He looked over at her surprised.

"No, I was just talking to myself," he replied giving her a small reassuring smile. The woman returned the smile before looking back to the window allowing the doctor to return to his business. Instead, he walked over and gazed out the window himself. "He'll be alright."

"That's what Steve told me. We always thought Bucky would be fine on his own, but now look at him. He's fighting with the memories Hydra had given him. I wouldn't really be surprised if he was still remembering things. He grew up defending Steve and I, mostly Steve, but I think it's time we return the favor."

Bruce sat down next to Jessie. "We all have bad memories we try not to remember. But sometimes they get a hold of us and play a part in our lives causing us to do things we regret. Now Bucky, he's been living with those memories for at least 50 years from what Natasha told me. The fact he's setting them aside to pay more attention to his friends and family is all that matters." The last words spoken by Bruce were quiet causing the Sergeant to listen closely. She caught a glimpse of sadness in his eyes before he looked away.

"You have some bad memories, don't you?"

"Yes, but don't we all? It's a part of what makes a person who they are. You strive to protect and help others. You always protected Steve but couldn't help Bucky in his time of need." Jessie turned her head away from the Doctor as she looked back out the window. "I know you're worried about him, Jess. But he's worked with Hydra before. He knows their weak spots, so if he ever gets caught, he'll know what to do."

"I know, but he worked under Pierce's order. Not Strucker's. Pierce was full of himself, and I hate to say this, but he was a good leader. But Strucker... After hearing that radio speech -- he seems loony. And we were captured by him. We know what he can do - Bucky doesn't."

Bruce sighed. "I don't want you staying up and stressing yourself over Bucky's safety." The Doctor rested a reassuring hand on the woman's shoulder. "The Captain is going underground to meet with some colleagues, and Tony is going with him. Clint and I will be here, so if you want to talk to one of us, don't be afraid to do so."

An hour or two passed, and Jessie couldn't get much sleep. Not an uncommon thing for her at present. She tossed and turned, but not from worry about Bucky, but a nightmare from being at a Hydra base; where she obtained her bionic arm. She let out quiet moans of pain from the memory of brainwashing, then tears from the memory of being lost, alone, and to an extent -- scared. The brunette felt a hand on her arm trying to gently shake her awake. She looked back at the person, blinking away tears to see Bruce.

The woman sat up and rubbed her eyes, "What's going on?"

"I was going to ask you," Banner spoke. "Mind me asking what that was about?"

"Just everything that has happened so far." The brunette began rubbing her left shoulder. It was as if the small mention made it feel like tiny knives were cutting into her skin. Each scar left over from the replacement began to burn on the inside, the stinging causing a gut wrenching feeling to overcome Jess. Bruce got the message at what she was hinting with the short statement but didn't say a word knowing she wouldn't want to speak of it. Their silence was broken by Dan as he practically ran up the stairs to get the two.

The young Brit took a few deep breaths, trying to catch his own in the process. "Jess, Dr. Banner -- Fury would like the two of you and Agent Barton to meet with him and the others. There's something you have to see."

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2 Hours Ago

James carefully made his way down the streets. He kept an eye out for any potential Hydra threats, continuously hiding behind whatever he could if someone passed by. He stayed in the shadows like death itself awaiting anyone. The soldier carried on. The idea of walking through the streets around the perimeter of the hideout, knowing Hydra patrolled the city not only from the ground but also above, didn't settle well with Bucky. It seemed as though they were constantly getting closer. Constantly closer to catching the group whether it be in the warehouse or on a supply run. Bucky rested against a wall in a dark alleyway. He thought of the time Tony had returned from getting rations and supplies for the group.

"They added about four more soldiers at the checkpoints," he had said. "The disguise is also starting to not work. The lady handing out rations almost recognized me."

Tony, at that time, had been the one to go on supply runs. Then it changed to one of the others. They would alternate sometimes by the time of day before a schedule was set up assigning someone to a certain day. The same would go for being on the lookout.

James thought of Jessica. How she tried to plead with him to not go. She seemed to believe in something that no one would. She feared for his safety and of Hydra. He saw a definite change in her after being captured not too long ago. Bucky knew it was from her arm. It struck fear in her as it had for his targets. He remembered the day where she managed to paint a star on the shoulder of her metal arm. It was her way of forgetting, making her think of what she had before. James, however, was trying to remove the star of his arm. The red had begun to chip.

A sudden, familiar scent overtook his senses. He followed it down the alley, finding a couple of Hydra men having two civilians held captive, a third lying dead. Blood pooled around them from a gunshot to the head. Bucky grimaced at the sight. The remaining two were held at gunpoint. The metallic smell of the fresh blood got caught in Bucky's nose. The thought of his time as an assassin re-entered his mind. The memory mixed with the smell of the blood made him feel sick. He leaned against the wall, trying to remain quiet all the while trying not to gag at the stench. The man believed he would be used to it by now, but he was wrong. It had been quite some time since he worked under Hydra and killed for them. And during that time he had been a lost man trying to find his way. James began to steer his thoughts away from the sight.

He thought back to the day he fell. The sound of the train disappearing. Steve holding out his hand in aid only for his friend to fall. The look on Jessica's face pained him. Bucky remembered when he had gotten back to solid ground -- the numbness in his arm, the blood which covered it. The searing pain which was numbed as what remained of his arm had been cut to his shoulder. It was the end of his time as a Sergeant for the U.S. Army, and the beginning as an assassin.

The sound of nearing footsteps pulled the man from his thoughts. He wasn't able to spot anyone for a sharp blow caused him to blackout. When he woke, Bucky found himself cuffed to a chair in an unknown room. Only one light was provided. The walls were stone, the floor concrete. It felt cold and damp and claustrophobic. He spotted a tripod standing in front of where he sat, a camera attached on top. The man found no use in struggling for an escape as he felt too weak to move. The heavy metal door of the room opened causing him to glance up slightly. James felt his chest tighten as he stared at who entered. Brock Rumlow, his alter-ego's confidant and threat to the one he loved stepped into the room, simply smirking at the man's troubled state. The Hydra man moved aside as the true menace stood before him.

Baron von Strucker pulled at the glove on his hand before pressing the red record button of the camera. A sinister smile appeared on his features. "Shall we begin?"

A/N: Ugh! I don't know how many times I have apologized for not updating this story! But I promise I am sincerely sorry. My personal problem is time management -- and it is due to life getting in the way and my motivation for writing happens to become very low, especially during the school year. Since I still happen to be in school, I go there and come home with homework which could last till twelve in the morning (time management issue ensues). BUT: this is the chapter. I do not know for sure when the next one will be uploaded, and from what I can see it seems to be a short chapter. I do apologize profusely and I hope I can get the next chapter up sooner than later. Thank you all for your patience! I love you all dearly and knowing that you enjoy this story gives me hope!