Play Your Cards

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Reader's P.O.V.

My whole day was ruined the moment I woke. I had come from the bathroom, finishing rubbing the sleep from my eyes when I bumped into my cousin Yuuma and his best friend Kaito Shion. Scum loves to befriend scum, so I've realized.

"Put a little more effort into your appearance. No one will take you seriously." Kaito snickered at me. I rolled my eyes and pushed past, heading to my room. Kaito whistled incredulously and Yuuma muttered under his breath.

"People are gonna think you're depressed, buddy."

They both laughed and bn eaded towards the front door. I couldn't breathe normally until I heard the front door shut. Biting my tongue, swallowing the words, biting back the urge to spit venom at anyone who dares keep pushing their boundaries with me irritates the crap out of me. I grabbed my school belongings and begrudgingly dragged myself to the front door. In the kitchen, my aunt was peeling apples when she saw me with a gleam in her eyes.

"Oh honey, why didn't you go walk with the boys?" she asked, eyes wide in wonder. Yuuma and Kaito had thankfully made like Houdini and disappeared. Sticking like gum on their shoes was Hell and I wasn't gonna be the brunt of their jabs any further today. I also couldn't say jack about anything going on. My aunt was so blissfully unaware, like an idiot? Or perhaps she refused to see what was going on? No, she's a sweetheart, but is tough enough to have Hell break loose. She wouldn't take any of this crap if only I could tell her. I just didn't have the guts to tell my aunt so I faked my smile as I always did.

"Nah, the boys can talk about boy things. I like to have the time for myself and listen to music to school."

It was something I'd preferred to do anyway. My aunt smiled sweetly and handed me my lunchbox. It was kind of her to still do this for me at 15 years old. I smiled back and took it by the handle.

"Oh, which reminds me! I've made breakfast, you want a vegan croissant sandwich? I know I'm going a bit crazy with all these vegan and vegetarian recipes, but your uncle Al has been working on himself and I think these cleaner foods are making our skin clearer, so I've been trying out new recipes and I think this one came out rather well."

I laughed gently and nodded to my aunt, "No, I'm not too hungry this morning, but thank you. I've gotta go, see you later Aunt Ann!"

She called out a goodbye to me as I dashed out the door. I felt so bad leaving, but the crushing pressure would have made me cry so I knew I had to leave before the dams could burst. Heading off to school often was like an existential dread and I would always expect the worst. But at least walk there was peaceful in a way. Walking past people really made you see others and get a glimpse into their lives. Isn't it interesting to come up with scenarios for every individual person? To be honest, the walk wasn't lonely. Earbuds and my favorite music gave me the courage to march on.

Before I hit the school grounds, the churning in my stomach made my throat tighten. It wasn't that long ago when the old school halls would be swarming with chatter about me. Call me paranoid now, but those feelings don't escape or magically disappear. The logical me would remind myself that they've moved on to better topics, but the fear still ate at me. I remembered when stupid rumors began to litter the halls all thanks to Kagamine. No, I wasn't making sacrifices in the woods. Even if I was, you think I'd get caught? No, I didn't piss myself during gym class. Some bitch turned the broken water fountain on as I was passing by and it just so happened to catch me in the worst way possible.

Such stupid rumors. If this was what it was like at eleven, what good were my chances at 15? I need to stop with the rhetorical questions. They're useless, but I feel they might get my point across.

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