Sade's Return

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  I finish my burrito, get comfortable on my bed, and call my mom.
Hello?

Hey Mom. How are ya?

Mom :I'm good I miss you I haven't heard from you since you left the hospital.

Oh, that I wanted to settle things before contacting you. I just got my apartment, started some art classes, and got on some new meds.

Mom: Have you seen Michelle?"You know you have to keep seeing him. Also, you haven't bought your Xanax off the street, have you?

Yes, I'm keeping my appointments with Mike...but I did purchase Xanax off the street.

Mom:Sade, you know that those pills might not be Xanax. Stop fooling yourself. You can get hurt one day and honestly I  don't want to see your dead body on 20/20.

Mom, you're not going to see my body on 20/20.

Mom:Yes, I am. If you keep at that

It's almost like you want that. Aye. Mom, I will not be purchasing any illegal substances anymore I promise I swear.

Mom:Don't swear.

Okay, I won't Mom. Just trust me. I don't want to end up in the hospital again, so I'm trying my hardest to be more independent.

Mom:I know it's hard for you. Just keep in touch so I don't worry so much.

I will

Mom: I want you to come over for dinner on Saturday. Get something good in that stomach of yours. I gotta go. Love you!

  I didn't get a chance to say bye or anything. Ha. Dinner on Saturday, that reminds me, I have to go and break my date with Ronny. I look in my closet and put on black shorts with a white tee. I wear my graffiti pattern boots and leave my pink hair down. Time to go. I step out of my apartment and bump into someone. 'Damn it. Shit. My head'. Oh, it's Ronny. That's a surprise.

  "Hey, I was just going up to your apartment to see you."

  "Really? Well, I was gonna talk about our date.  He says

  "Same here." I tilt my head. "Do you want to come in for tea or coffee? I don't have any beer sorry."

  "No that's alright, I just needed to tell you that I'm canceling our Date and what you owe me. I have a girlfriend now and she got jealous knowing I was involved in some way with a female." He crosses his arms trying to come off as intimidating as he can.

"Your girl must really into you. So don't worry about it. But I do have to pay you the 200 if not I feel uncomfortable seeing you around. Just let her know I insisted and take her out or something." I wave my hand.

He sighs. "Alright, let's do that."

  "Just wait here. I'll get the money." He nods his head. He looks like a large boulder was lifted off of his back. His girl must have been given him some grief. He's a big guy but occasionally you can see the vulnerability in his eyes.

I walk into my apartment, get the 200 out of my backpack, and go back to put the money in Ronny's hands.

"That should do it. I'll see you around."

"Same here Sade." he nods his head and walks over to the elevator and presses a button to wait. I walk right back into my apartment.

I am so happy that worked out that I put Cardi B on and start dancing. I dance to the rhythm, whipping my hair, I drop low and I'm singing

Said little bitch, you can't fuck with me
If you wanted to
These expensive, these is red bottoms
These is bloody shoes

I hear thunder. Unexpectedly it starts raining. "Am I that awful? Wow!" I shake my head. I'm speaking to myself now. This is perfect hot tea and fluffy robe weather. I go start the water for my tea and while that's getting ready I undress and wear my fluffy robe. The teapot whistles, I take it off the stove then pour the extremely hot liquid into the teacup, I sift the chamomile leaves and add a little bit of honey. I take a deep breath and the freshness of the tea is relaxing.

I take my tea and sit on the bed and I watch the rain hit the window. It's almost as if the rain is playing music, close to being hypnotic. I see the park from my window. The rain has washed the harshness of what is created by the people of this block. 'Sigh' An idea just pops into my head!

Putting my tea down on the small table by the bed I grab my sketchbook and pencil. I start sketching the park. My hand moves the pencil fluidly on the paper, the side of my pinky lightly softens some of the lines. I take a pause to stretch and notice my tea has completely cooled. It's late and should go to sleep. A touch of sadness hits me, I'm not sure why. I just got two things that have been bothering me off of my back. You'd think I would be feeling better. I shrug my shoulders and take my meds, then go to my room and flop onto my bed. As I wait for my meds to work I just stare at the window and watch the rain get heavier. I turn to my side and stare at the bathroom, my eyes get heavier when I'm about to shut my eyes I hear :

And now I'm laughin' through my tears
I'm cryin' through my fear
But baby, if I had to choose
The joke's on you

  It's my cell, I grab it and press answer. I'm surprised because it's Jack.

Hello?

Jack:Hey, can we talk?

Is it important, I was just about to fall asleep and I don't think I can keep my eyes open.

Jack:It's not important. Lunch at the Cafe tomorrow? I'll text you remind you.

Alright, goodnight

Jack:Goodnight

  I press end and close my eyes.

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