Solos from FOUR

7. Night Changes

“Chasing her tonight, doubts are running ‘round her head

He’s waiting, hides behind a cigarette

Heart is beating loud but she doesn’t want it to stop”

I can hardly focus as we play our last concert of the week. My eyes keeps searching for her face and her smile but I don’t see her in the crowd in her usual spot. This is the first time that she hasn’t been sat in the private area and watched the entire concert.

I never understood how she did it. We play the same set so many times but she never ever looked bored. She knew all the words to all of our songs and I could always see her mouthing along. Sometimes she was all that kept my spirits high.

As we finish, I dash backstage and ask our head of security if he has seen Freya. He tells me that she’s busy but told him to tell me that she’ll be ready at the agreed upon spot. I feel slightly relieved that she hasn’t forgotten our date but her absence is unsettling.

I’m sweaty from the concert and rush in for a quick shower. I dress in jeans and a jumper and pulls on my trench coat as well. We’re in a city I’ve never been in before and I have no idea where we are going to go. I’ve rented a nice classic car for us to drive in but that’s pretty much it.

A part of me feels like I should have planned out the date entirely but another part of me is happy with my decision to be spontaneous. I stand outside waiting on the spot and I feel so nervous that I reach for my cigarettes and light one up. I don’t smoke that much anymore and I know Freya doesn’t like it but I can’t help it.

I don’t even hear her footsteps around the corner and look up in surprise when I see her standing lovely in a casual red dress and cream coat with her phone to her ear.

“I have to go,” she whispers. “He’s waiting. Yes, I know, mum. He hides behind a cigarette, so trust me I’ll be home soon.”

I hear her despite her best efforts to lower her voice. I toss the cigarette. I knew that was a bad idea. What am I doing?

She offers me a smile and get off the phone. I can practically see that doubts are running ‘round her head. She is just as unsure as I.

I gesture her to the car and she gets in without a word. We drive around in silence but it’s kind of nice just to be near her. She enjoys the sight of the city lights in the moonlight and looks happy. This is dangerous for my heart, I think as I pull into a parking space near the entrance to a park. I’m chasing her tonight but should I? She looks so doubtful about us and maybe I shouldn’t push her.

Still, I see the glances she gives me when she thinks I am not looking. It looks like she’s falling for me. I know she’s scared that we’ll change but change is inevitable. I'm not talking about how every night changes into day but about how you have to finish school and then get a job. You should move forward in your life and I feel that Freya and I would be great together. She needs someone like me. I would never break her heart like the other boys she's dated. 

I offer her my hand and she takes it with a small smile. I know I’m grinning all over my face. The mere touch of her hand in mine has my heart beat racing.

When we’ve walked for a few minutes, I can’t take it anymore. I stop abruptly and her hand slips out of mine. This is silly, we’re adults, I think. I should just show her how I feel.

I approach her and take her face in my hands. Her eyes are wide but she doesn’t stop me. I place my lips on hers and kiss her, gently at first and then deeply. Finally, she kisses me back and it’s magical.

I can feel that her heart is beating loud as is mine. It’s overwhelming but I can feel that she doesn’t want it to stop because she presses her body to mine and kisses me harder and more passionately.