“I think I’m gonna win this time
Riding on a wind and I won’t give up
I think I’m gonna win this time
I roll and I roll ‘til I change my luck
Yeah, I roll and I roll ‘til I change my luck”
Things have changed between Freya and after we slept together and agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend. The boys quickly found out, not because I told them but because I walked around like a love-struck idiot and Freya and I was speaking again.
While we are on speaking terms, those terms doesn’t seem very friendly at the moment at all. We’re constantly fighting and we always seem to be in a fight about something. Freya is only civil with me when she’s working. She puts on this professional persona and acts as if nothing is bothering her but I see her mask slip from time to time.
I’m hanging out with the boys in my flat while one of them mention Freya and I tense up. They ask what is wrong and I reluctantly explain it. They are my very best friends and I look to them for advice.
“I don’t know. I’m so happy that we’re together and I really love her but she is constantly mad at me and keep starting fights that I don’t even know what’s about,” I say. “And I’m just going along you know, but it’s like playing cards, and I am willing to do that. I roll and I roll till I change my luck but my luck doesn’t seem to change.”
The boys try to understand and offer heartfelt compassion but they can’t help no matter how much they want to. It’s between Freya and I. I excuse myself and drive to her flat.
She’s in her sweats and I smile when I recognise the hoodie. It’s mine.
“We need to talk,” I say. I’ve never liked that phrase and want to take it back as soon as I’ve said it but I can’t.
She steps aside and allows me inside. She acts as if she was expecting me to come to her door with bad news.
“Why do you keep getting mad at me?” I ask.
She looks as her feet as if they were the most interesting things she had ever viewed.
“I don’t,” she says stubbornly.
“Yes, you do and then you start a fight. I don’t know what they are about most of the time. And then I think I’m gonna win this time but you somehow always end up winning the fight, maybe because you single handily start them.”
“I think I’m gonna win this time,” she says mimicking. “What is this to you? A game?”
She’s doing it again. She’s twisting my words and getting mad at me. I didn’t mean to hurt or offend her but this is what’s the problem. Why would she be looking for stuff to fight over? Where’s the cool girl that was bothered by nothing?
“Maybe, yeah” I say stupidly. I’m getting majorly annoyed with her. “I roll and I roll ‘til I change my luck.”
She laughs just one short ‘ha’ and I’m startled. She then proceeds to shake her head and I can see that her eyes are getting teary. I didn’t mean to make her cry and I want to cave in but I won’t give up. It feels like I’m riding on a wind and it making me confident. I know her better than anyone and something else is the real reason behind this nonsense.
“I love you,” I say. To explain, to calm her or because it’s simply the truth, I don’t know.
Her lips move inaudibly but I have a feeling I wouldn’t have liked the words.
“Just go,” she says sounding defeated but I don’t feel like I’ve won anything. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She turns on her heal and walks into her room and shut the door behind her. I leave her flat feeling more worried than when I arrived. This girl is making me lose my mind and I’m worried that our relationship isn’t as fireproof as I thought but I’m going to fight to keep her.
YOU ARE READING
Solos from FOUR
FanfictionA short love story based on and inspired by Louis Tomlinson’s solos from the album “FOUR”. As we progress through the songs, so does their relationship.
