We Almost Spend Our Lifetime Together

05

'To Miggy

Hi love! Hmmm ito ata pinakamatagal nating hindi nagkita no? Ilang buwan naba? Two? Three months? Hahaha. Pero I just want to apologize dahil mukhang hindi na talaga tayo magkikita pa nang harapan, love. Sorry kasi di ko matutupad yung pinangako kong lalaban ako. Para sa atin.

Kung nababasa mo man ito, isa lang ibig sabihin nun, NAKAKAPAGBASA KA! char. Pero seryoso na, love. Kung nababasa mo man to ngayon, isa lang ibig sabihin nun, hindi ko na kinaya. Ngayon pa nga lang na nagsusulat ako hinang-hina na ako eh, pero gusto ko pa rin tong isulat. Para naman makapagpaalam ako ng maayos. Magiging abo ako love eh, walang lamay na magaganap hahahaha.

Love, alam mo naman na mahal na mahal kita dba? Pero mukhang hanggang dito nalang talaga siguro eh. Sayang, kasal na sana tayo by this time, right? May mga chikiting na sana tayo.

Love, I can't give you the family you've always dreamed of. If someday you find someone na mamahalin mo at mamahalin ka, please don't hesitate. Susuportahan at susuportahan kita sa lahat ng bagay. Tuparin mo yung pangarap nating dalawa, kahit hindi na ako yung kasama mo.

I love you so much Miguel Jake Santos. I will never forget you. And if I were to be born again, I will make sure na makakasal na talaga tayo hahaha.

Your almost wife,
Roshelle Castro'

Hanggang ngayon ay paulit-ulit ko pa ring binabasa ang sulat niyang yon. It's been 15 years pero hirap pa rin akong mag-move on.

Paulit-ulit lang ring nakaplay sa dvd player ang kantang Make it with you ng ben&ben.

Gabi na at malamig ang simoy ng hangin pero nandito pa rin ako sa balkonahe ng kwarto ko. Nakatingala at pinagmamasdan ang ningning ng mga bituin.

"Love, binabantayan mo naman ako diba?"nakangiti kong sambit, nakatingala pa rin. "And if you're wond'ring what this song is leading to, I wanna make it with you. I really think that we could make it, girl" sabay ko sa pagtatapos ng kanta. Hay love, yan sana yung wedding song natin, eh. I really think that we could make it, girl.

Haay, wala eh, life is fair for being unfair.
Well, i guess this is not a lovestory. I think this is falling inlove.... While being alive.

She wants me to live my life, fulfill my dreams even without her. Mahirap, napakahirap. But that was her last wish. Sapat na siguro yung labinlimang-taong pagluluksa ko.

Panahon na rin siguro para palayain ko yung sarili ko sa sakit dulot ng pagkawala mo

Pumunta ako kung saan nakahimlay ang kanyang abo upang magpaalam nang maayos bago ko ipagpatuloy ang buhay ko.

"Hi love!" I placed the flower before talking again "Nakapag-decide na ako, love. I will fulfill our dreams. Yeah, it will be hard, but I will do it para maging masaya na ako. Diba yun naman yung gusto mo?" Pinahid ko muna yung luhang tumulo galing sa mata ko bago magpatuloy.

I almost had her. We almost spend our lifetime together, but I guess this is not where our fate lead us. And we just gotta accept it. I JUST GOTTA ACCEPT IT.

"I will keep on living, love. May you guide me in my journey to happiness. I am here now to finally bid a proper farewell,love. See you when the right time comes. Until then my 'almost wife'" Naglakad na ako paalis matapos kong sabihin yon.

We almost had each other but then circumstances made us suffer. We almost had our lifetime together but I ended up living our lifetime by myself.

'But no matter what, I will keep on living.'

Sinundo ko na rin si Jah after nun. Yes, yung batang kinagigiliwan ni love. Inampon ko sya 14 years ago dahil nag-iisa nalang siya sa matapos bawian ng buhay ang nanay niya dahil sa virus noon.

Dumeretso na kami sa airport. Pupunta kami sa Australia, doon kami magsisimulang muli. Saka doon na rin magcecelebrate si Jah ng 23rd birthday niya.

'We will keep on living, Roshelle. Please guide us always.'