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Arabella

Tried to keep you close to me, but life got in between.

The song lyrics blasted in my ears as I stared blankly out the passenger side window.

"Arabella, did you hear what I'm saying?" My grandmother asked me. I looked to my iPod and paused James Bay.

"Sorry, what?" I played with the earbud cord. She sighed deeply before speaking.

"I am going to be living in Flordia for now on with your grandfather. And sadly, we do not have enough room." She trailed off, I looked at her with my eyebrows furrowed.

"I can't live on my own, I'm 17 for god sake! I won't take up much room grandma, please let me stay with you." I begged like a 5 year old, she shook her head instead of speaking her mind.

"I'm sorry sweetie. Your grandfather and I have always wanted to go to Flordia for such a long time, but ever since your parents past away, and we flew to Australia to be with you. But know, we think you are old enough and mature enough to take of yourself." She talks with a stern voice.

"When are you leaving?" I asked while I cross my arms. She didn't reply.
"When are you leaving?" I repeated myself to her.

"Your grandfather is already at the airport waiting for me."

"Are you fucking kidding me?! You decided to tell me now?" I yelled out of frustration.

"Don't not curse young lady!" She shouted back at me. I felt the car stop and I got out quickly. "Michael is coming tomorrow at around 3:30 tomorrow just to see how you are doing. He is also moving next door with his friends." She shouted from the car while she pulled out of the driveway. I jogged towards the jeep she is currently driving.

"Where are you going?" I asked her a little scared for her going.

"I'm going to the airport. I'll call you once I get to Florida." And will that she drive away from me, I stood in the middle road with tears in my eyes.

"Jesus, I haven't talked to my brother in 6 years, does he still think I killed our parents?" I thought aloud not caring about anyone hearing.
I walked to my house and immediately felt alone, well no shit Sherlock you're living alone now.

But, I felt a familiar darkness creeping around my body. The type I felt when my parents died, when Michael started hating my guts for the accident, when he moved away from me, when every friend I've ever had left me.

"No, no I will not let it get to me. Not again, not ever." I spoke to myself in breathed deeply remembering what the previous therapist have told me.
I went to my room and got out my guitar, since no one lives here anymore I can play it out in the living room. Grandfather never liked hearing music, all he did was watch golf and talk about politics.

I sat down on the couch and crossed my legs, I sat up straight and started to strum a song that wrote about one of my old friends who was severely depressed.

"I need some time just deliver the things that I need for now
Everything that I feel's like a warm deep calm casting over me
And it's taking me to somewhere new

If you believe that everything's alright
You won't be all alone tonight
And I'd be blessed by the light of your company,
Slowly lifting me to somewhere new

Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well
Since the last time that we spoke, you said
"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."

Please

What a night it is, when you live like this
And you're coming up beneath the clouds,
Don't let me down
All the love's still there I just don't know what to do with it now
You know, I still can't believe we both did some things
I don't even wanna think about
Just say you love me and I'll say "I'm sorry,
I don't want anybody else to feel this way"
No, no, no