Deprive

Thrill

"Bbbbbbbbaaa...pshh anaaaaaahh", Chrishana squealed as she splashed around in the warm bath water. I swear she's the light of my life. I don't know what has been going with me these past days. As far as I know, everyone thinks I'm some crazy ass nigga, I'm starting to believe it myself. My mind blacks out a lot and I see weird shit.

I must be really scaring everyone. I didn't find out until last week that Tasha and me broke up. Every since that incident my therapist and doctor suggest these pills that I should be taking. I've been diagnosed with some fuck disease called "Schizophrenia".  It has been in the family history. My great grandfather was diagnosed with it. Never in a million years did I think I'd have to deal with something like this. I feel so guilty that I have to put my wife and child through this.

"Daa Bbbbbbbbaaa", her eyes twinkled. God blessed me with such a beautiful baby. I need to get my shit together and raise her right. I don't want her seeing the things people had to witness. Chrishana is my world.

Right now, I'm considered "normal". I feel like myself. I wish Brianna would get back from therapy. I miss her so much. I'm trying my best to get us back to the way that we used to be. I have to get her to open up to me. Every time I look her in the eye she looks frightened. Every time I suggest we do something she turns it down and tells me to go lay down. She spends more time with J than me. I think nothing of it because I trust them and I know he's just looking out for her, but it does make me a tad bit jealous.

"I'm home", I shout as I roughly kick off my heels.

"I told you to call me when you got there". J was laid back on the couch flipping through channels.

"I forgot", I sighed making my way to the kitchen. I tossed my keys onto the counter.

"Remember next time"!

I began digging through the bag of groceries. Mmmm now where's that vanilla ice cream I got.

"Why don't you give Chres his medicine"? Oh fuccck.

"I just got in the door can I relax"? I get a spoon and pop off the top of the ice cream lid, scooping up the vanilla.

He throws his hands up in the air, "Well damn, don't have to scold a nigga"!

I place the spoon in my mouth and the delicious vanilla flavor bounced on taste buds. My eyes roll to the back of my head as I swallow.  Mmmmm this is what I needed. I smile to myself and take another scoop, another...than another....

J folds his arms as he leans on the wall of the kitchen entrance.

He smirks and saunters towards me. I watch him bite down on his lip gently. His arms slither around my hips and he slips his right hand down, inside of my panties.

"Ahhhh Jonnnie no", I softly moan as he massages my clit. It begins to throb! I throw my head back and reach down to clutch his hand. Two fingers of his smoothly make their way inside of me.

"Mmmmm", I grind my hips to match his pace.

"Damn you day dream a lot", he chuckles.

"Huh..what"? Damn what the fuck Bri? At least I wasn't touching myself this time. I was just carelessly staring ahead of me. Still... embarrassing. I should remember what my therapist said. I love Chres, this is his best friend and I am just lusting.

"Are you okay"?

"I'm fine this ice cream is just really good. Its got me thinking about childhood memories", I smile shyly.

"That look in your eyes seemed too lustful to be thinking about childhood memories".

"And dang, niggas been waiting for you to make dinner and you come back with ice cream. Let me get some".Shit he's getting close to me.

I giggle, "Oh hush I making dinner for my babies". I pull out pasta boxes, tomato sauces, spinach, and cheese.

"Oh, my heart", he playfully touched his chest and fell to the floor.

"J stop, you know I got you", I laugh at his foolishness.

He picked up my spoon and began scooping up my ice cream.

"Chrishana and Chres are upstairs sleeping, right"?

"Nah they both woke up awhile ago. He's upstairs giving her a bath right now... well probably finished by now".

My eyes widened and my heart begans beating uncontrollably. "J how could you be so stupid"!

I began darting upstairs in search for my child. Oh stupid fucking Jonnie. My baby!

"What I don't understand what's the problem", I hear him shout chasing behind me.

I barge into an empty bathroom. Shit.

"I can't believe you left him alone you were supposed to be watching him and her"!

"Brianna that's his child".

I bust through the master bedroom door startling Chres. They laid softly and comfy with each other on the bed. Chrissy looked at me with fear in her eyes. I must of scared her to.

"Chresanto is fine...I gave him his medicine. They're fine. Calm down", J whispered to me softly.

"Are you okay Brianna", Chresanto inquired. Chrissy began to reach for his lips and giggled as she did so.

I gulped. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't. I wanted to get out of this room....fast. I was wrong and didn't want to admit to it.

"Bri come on we're going to start making dinner".

"I was scared Jonnie", I sobbed into his shirt drowning into his beautiful scented cologne. We sat on the couch while the pasta cooked slowly.

"Look at me", he says as he intertwines are fingers with one hand. He pecks my forehead, " I understand, you have every right to be. You just have to trust him again. He's trying. He loves Chrissy, you can't take his child away from him. Start giving him his meds, he'll get better". Those meds are probably going to kill him.

"Okay"?

Somehow I got lost in his eyes. He was absolutely right about everything. When I look in his eyes I forget about everything and everyone. I want him so bad. Fuck Bri what are you doing?

I leaned in quick and kissed him passionately. Talk about seconds of fire because he rudely pushed me off.

"Ayo Bri what the fuck", he stood up taking a few steps back.

"I want you J, don't you love me", I cry.

"I do, Brianna I love you so much"!

~~~~~~

Ahhhh don't yall just love cliff hangers tehe. Yea I rushed this Chapter a bit, sorry about that! I'm planning some events I'll make it up to you guys, but love y'all and thanks for reading and voting.