A Court of Shadows and Stars; Azriel

XI

*A/N- I only cried a few tears writing this, but I hope you enjoy! Don't forget to vote and comment. Another update will be out soon :)*

Sun-kissed hands danced over my face and I caught a glimpse of golden brown hair before I was lulled unconscious.

{Flashback}

The air temperature shifted. Suddenly, I was not in a cold tent, but a warm night in Velaris. I could hear the party buzzing inside the House of Wind as I enjoyed the evening air on the balcony.

It was the night of my first Starfall, years ago.

The creak of heavy doors caught my attention. Turning around, the shadowsinger's golden eyes met mine and he sent me a soft smile.

I hadn't known the Illyrian for long, although he was the one who saved me a few weeks back. Everyday I train with him and Cassian, but we exchange few words.

After a few moments of silence, Azriel's silvery voice cut through the night.

"How are you settling in?" he asked me.

I thought for a moment. What was I supposed to say? Sure, he had saved my life- one way or another, but I still had nothing to live for. My family sold me to that bastard and his family, probably thinking that I'm dead by now. My childhood was taken away from me, and instead, I spent my years in sufferable misery.

I had freedom now, but not much had changed.

I decided a simple, "Fine" would suffice.

He nodded, and looked back at the view overlooking the city.

"I was born the bastard son of an Illyrian lord."

His voice caused my head to snap up to his, but he continued staring out in front of him.

"For what seemed like an eternity, I was locked in a cell with no windows or light. I was allowed only to come out for an hour each day, and to see my mother for one hour every week. I was not allowed to train with my brothers or fly, despite my Illyrian instincts telling me to do so," he paused.

"When I was eight years old, my half-brothers thought that it would be entertaining to pour oil on my hands and then light them on fire. Warriors nearby heard my screams and saved me, but the scars remained,"

My breath hitched in my throat as he held out his scarred hands in front of me, and he refused to look at me or meet my eyes.

"I was left at an Illyrian 'training' camp once I turned eleven. All of those years locked in the pitch-black had caused me to develop shadowsinging gifts. Because of these gifts, I was well received and eventually I met Rhysand and Cassian. Since I was alone, like Cassian, Rhysand's mother took me in."

"As the three of us grew up together, Rhysand's father began to feel threatened by his son's power combined with Cassian and I, so he separated us. Eventually, Rhysand became a High Lord, and he appointed me as spymaster and called me his family."

"My point is, I understand what you've been through. So, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

I didn't know what to say. I felt ashamed that I had dwelled on my problems only, and not have showed my gratitude as much as I should have.

Finally, he looked at me.

"What is it that you fear most?" he whispered.

I've thought about this many times before, so I knew the answer.