Virus 2 - A Zombie Novel

September 2nd 2014

I lied in my bed; enjoying the fact that I shouldn't be worried about getting up late. I yawn, stretching my arms up and under my head. I stare at the ceiling thinking of the events that occurred last night. I smiled at the thought of Joe's apology. He was so sweet last night, and it might be dumb; but he seemed different towards me. Like he actually liked talking to me. He wanted me to stay and chat some more so I guess he does. Maybe I should go talk to him now. But then I realised, what am I thinking? I am forgetting the very reason I am meant to hate him. He tortures people; questions them, then beats them up until their black and blue. Maybe the reason I feel myself gravitating towards him is because - well he's dangerous. My usual type of guy is the computer nerd; not that I could get any better. Not that I like Joe - or even am attracted to him, but he puts on a good show. His British accent doesn't help. I mean, he was the guy who begged me to get rid of James; he is the reason I killed him. I did it to protect him, and I don't know why. Joe was strong, a ticking time bomb waiting to go off, and he opened up to me. He told me he was scared. I guess I somehow forgave him for all the things he's done.

"Hi." Joe laughed. I sat up; feeling my cheeks turn red. Was I speaking out loud? Did he hear everything I just said? I smiled nervously as he walked closer to me.

"Hi." I mumbled.

"Its 10 o'clock, we thought something was wrong." He sat down across from me, leaning up against the shelf of books. I smiled, unsure of what to say. "Interesting choice." He added.

"P- Pardon?" I stuttered.

"World Knowledge." He pointed to the shelf opposite him. I looked at saw the travelling books and smiled, realising he meant what aisle I chose to sleep in. "You want to travel?"

"I wanted to, yes." Why was he here? He was just making things awkward. "Ab -"

"Last - oh you go." He interrupted.

"No it's fine, doesn't matter anyway." I smiled, probably looking uncomfortable.

"Last night - I'm sorry for inviting you to stat. it's not my place."

"It's okay." I interrupted; this is what I was going to say.

"No, no its not. I just - came here to tell you I didn't want you to get the idea - well, that -"

"It's fine." I interrupted. "I didn't get that idea." He didn't want me to think he liked me. Which is good, I don't want him to think I liked him.

"Cool; so we're good?" he asked. I nodded, lying back down expecting him to leave. "So are you good?"

"Pardon?" I asked sitting back up.

"Are you okay is what I meant?" he asked. I wasn't, but I didn't want him to worry.

"I can't be okay overnight, but I will be." I said. He pursed and looked at his shoes, not replying. "I miss him though."

"I bet." He looked up, smiling slightly. "It always annoyed me how happy and secretive you were around him. Whenever I'd look over you guys were whispering in each other's ears; which was soon followed by laughter. Sometimes I would think it was about me."

"You were annoyed by happiness?" I asked. He nodded, looking away.

"I don't have the power to be happy. I'm never happy; and I haven't been for a while." He smiled; like it didn't affect him.

"You're always happy."

"Smiling doesn't count as being happy, see look." He smiled, then frowned, then smiled again, then went cold. "All the smiles you've seen, such as the one I did before or last night, has been fake."

"So when I made you laugh?" I asked.

"IT was real at the time; but to be happy the happiness has to last for more than 5 seconds."

"Then smile for more than 5 seconds. Smile for a minute." I interrupted.

"It doesn't work like that." He sighed.

"Yes it does." I insisted.

"Then why haven't you tried it?" he leant forward. "If you think it works, why are you still depressed?"

"I'm not depressed. Merely numb."

"Then why are you still numb?" he asked. I open my mouth to speak; but just sit there, no words coming out. I closed it; realising how dumb I must seem. "Exactly." He stood, beginning to walk out; but then I thought of the perfect thing to say.

"I may be numb. I may be depressed and sad and I may feel sorry for myself. But I believe one day I will be okay. One day I will be able to think about James without wanting to shoot myself. And I'm sure of that. I'm sure that my heart will heal and I will be able to have fun and hang out with friends. But you. You don't believe, and that is a more sad life then I will ever lead. So I feel sorry for you. I take pity on you because you have to wake up every day and - be you." I snapped, making him turn around. "So don't tell me that smiling doesn't help; it does. It just doesn't happen instantly."

"I'm happy that you feel that way." He smiled slightly, turning back around and walking around the corner. I sigh and lie back down. I didn't mean to get angry; but his negative attitude just pissed me off. I have a reason; but he didn't kill someone.