September 23rd 2014

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I sit up and rub my eyes, looking out the window. It was light out; maybe 6am.

"Shit." I whispered, struggling to get out of the bed. I swung my door open and ran down the stairs, without even putting on my shoes. The house was empty but I could hear chatter on the porch. I burst through the door to see Winter mid goodbye hug with Joe. "WAIT!" I yelled. Everyone looked up at me. I realised then that I had just woken up, meaning my hair would be disgusting and my face probably pale and droopy. I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear embarrassingly. "You - you can't go." I muttered. Winter unwrapped Joe out of her grasp and let him look at me.

"But you said -"

"I take it back." I interrupted him. "I - I can't let you go."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure." I nodded. Hudson was right - I would've regretted it if he had left. But that was the only thing he was right about. "I couldn't live with myself if I let you go." I refused to look at Hudson. I knew what he would be thinking right now.

"Thank you." Joe smiled slightly at me. Taking his bags out of the back of the car.

"That was really nice." Grace whispered to me. "You must like him."

"I don't!" I said a little too loud. "Why don't you run along and go talk to Luis, I've seen you eyeing him."

"Well - he is gorgeous." She said walking over to Luis who stood by Joe.

"I need to talk." I whispered to Hudson. He nodded and walked inside; and I followed. He stopped in the kitchen, turning to face me. "I think you were right."

"About?" he asked.

"I'm confused about what I - feel - towards Joe." I mumbled. He looked at the ground. "But I know I feel stronger towards you." I added. He nodded; still not looking up. "Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad." He half smiled looking up at me. "I just want you to be happy."

"Stop saying that." I sighed. "I want you to be -"

"WALKER INSIDE THE FARM PROPERTY." Someone yelled interrupting me. Hudson and I both took off towards the front porch door, grabbing the handguns off the table as we passed it.

"Shit." I heard Hudson say as we got onto the porch. Everyone had already ran to the fence. We practically jumped the stairs and hit the grass running. I looked around; trying to find the direction everyone went. Then I saw Grace almost fall out from behind a tree; running towards us.

"We need more guns." She yelled breathlessly. Hudson nodded and turned, sprinting back to the house to help Grace. I took off in the direction Grace came from, soon realising it was the same place Joe and I were at yesterday. The rock just outside the fence. The fence we opened to get past. The gate we might not have closed properly. I could already feel myself start to hyperventilate. I just reach the wooded area when Joe suddenly burst out from behind a tree.

"We need to go." He yelled grabbing my arm.

"It was us wasn't it?" I said trying to take in air.

"Yes and they are going to know in a few minutes so we need to leave." He dragged me with him but I shook him off.

"I can't. I need to tell them."

"You can't tell them. If someone gets bit it's or fault. Do you think Ruby will let us stay? Do you think you're lover boy will ever look at you the same again?" he interrupted. I ran my hands through my hair and looked at the place he just ran out from. I turned to run with Joe; but a scream made me stop.

"I can't." I said taking off towards the woods. Just before I stepped in I stopped; taking a deep breath. I needed to be able to help people now. I can't freeze. Hudson isn't here to help me along the way. I point my gun and step into the dark; mossy area. The air felt wet on my skin. I sprinted again; through the trees. "Guys!" I yelled. I ran without looking at the ground; which is really dangerous because I hit something, sending me flying forwards. I land on my stomach and hit my head on a rock; but I stay conscious. I sit up and grab my head; the pain thudding. I turn to see what I tripped on. "Oh my god." Estella lied there; blood staining her shirt in many places. Her eyes were open, but she was dead. You could tell from a mile away. I crawled over to her, taking my hand off my head to reveal I'm bleeding; but I couldn't care less right now. I felt for a pulse, just in case, but felt nothing. It's when her hand twitched, that I begun to realise what I was doing. I stood and took a few steps back. She was turning; I have to get out of here. But I can't leave her; she's a Walker now. Soon she'll be on her feet and wanting to kill people. This was the time to be brave. To put behind my fear, the visions of James and what I did. I point my gun at her head, closing my eyes. "Do it." I whispered. My finger held the trigger; but didn't make any effort to pull it. "Pull the trigger." I said to myself, a little louder. Again, nothing happened. I opened my eyes to see her trying to roll off her back. "Just do it." I said hearing a gunshot; yet I never pulled the trigger. Estella fell flat on her back again, a small deep red hole on her forehead. I look up to see Joe standing there; looking at me. He didn't run. "What are you doing here?" I whispered.

"I couldn't leave." He said.

"You need to - get out while you can." I tried to push him, but he didn't move. He didn't even sway from the impact. He had gotten stronger in the absence of me. He used to be a little bit dandy.

"I can't." he mumbled walking past me; expecting me to follow him. Which I did.

"I don't need you Joe." I said.

"I know - but these people do." He didn't look at me. A Walker stepped into our view; and Joe didn't even give me the chance of shooting it. He stopped, looking around. He must've heard something. We stood still; listening to the complete silence of the woods. But when I felt someone's hand grab my shoulder I screamed, ruining the silence. I turned pointing my gun, but it was only Ruby. She was pale and her eyes were vacant.

"What's happened?" I asked grabbing her arms.

"Oliver and Piper." She mumbled.

"I'm sorry Ruby - but you need to get back to the house." I said, but she didn't move. "Grab everything you can and we'll leave."

"I tried to kill you." She said finally making eye contact with me. I froze, letting go of her arms.

"W - What?" I asked.

"I broke the steering gage."

"We don't have time." Joe yelled over gunshot.

"You tried to kill me." I repeated.

"I thought you were going to drive - I - even broke the air bag." She mumbled. I stared at her. That's why the steering wouldn't work. "And then we got to the crash and - and Wren was in the driver's seat." I stepped back from her.

"Why?" I asked, totally forgetting the situation we were in.

"You had broken up with Hudson; but I knew it wouldn't last."

"Then you should've made me leave!" I yelled.

"He would've gone with you!" she shouted. I turned my back on her; looking at Joe.

"Let's go." I mumbled, walking past Ruby. She followed, but I stopped, holding my hand up. "Don't follow us. You can make your own way out." I added. She took a step back; looking around. She could die in these woods; and I wouldn't care.

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