She's Got The Devil's Eyes - Deckerstar (Completed)

Chapter XXXI

It felt like everything happened very rapidly, but it also felt very gradual. It was like dream rules, as if they had all experienced the same, vivid nightmare.

Lucifer vaguely remembered most of what happened. He was aware of the sensations, and the way all of his senses were alert and synchronized, the way they all came into play. It was like slowly piecing a puzzle together. He remembered the fear, the uncertainty, the unbearable pain of knowing that he would never see his baby girl again and that the sound of her cries as she sought comfort would be his last memories of her. He had been submerged in them, drowned by them, and desperation was the only thing his celestial soul was able to convey as he watched his daughter be taken away.

Losing Claire was all that could possibly happen. Of every possible outcome Remiel's visit could have, all of them ended in the angel taking her niece to grow up in Heaven. Lucifer could not think of a single way of avoiding it, of keeping his daughter to himself and her mother, of avoiding having her raised up by strangers that would call themselves her family. Chloe would have to leave the hospital without the little girl that would stir up trouble while she was in her womb with her brother. Lucifer would have to mourn the loss of his little winged-miracle. The little girl they had spent countless nights dreaming about. The little, tiny, close to completely defenseless baby they never knew they needed until she came... she would never be back.

He was on the verge of crying, not ready to consider what the future would entail and not willing to go on without a piece of him, without his little girl. He was reluctant to let it happen, to assume it would happen. He was completely incapable of envisioning his future without her. His love for her was like a weight crushing his chest. It was so awful knowing he would never see her again and not being able to wrap his head around that knowledge. He would not be moving on, he would never get over this loss.

However, as the blackness that had settled around them dissipated and colors and shapes danced before his groggy eyes, he suddenly felt certain they would be alright. He couldn't say how long they had been under the spell, he had been rendered completely helpless, but something about it soothed him.

In the indiscernible moment where everything and nothingness coexisted, Lucifer felt a sudden wave of peace.

At first he felt calm and peaceful, like when his fingers grazed his piano keys, or when his hands found their way to Chloe's astonishingly large stomach and his children's heartbeats lulled him to sleep. It was a sense of peace so immense and brilliant that it completely overtook him, a wave of tranquility that seemed to exude everything that had ever brought him joy.

That was before he felt the weight of his daughter being settled in his arms.

As his senses came back to him and he again became aware of time and space, he began to gain control over himself. The first thing that hit him was the fresh smell of a newborn he had learned to love over the last thirty-six hours. Then, he felt the weight of Claire where she was lay against his chest. The realization that his daughter was now in his arms was so overwhelming, his eyes teared up, threatening to spill over. As his chocolate pools opened up to face the light, he caught a glimpse of his daughter's dark and thick hair, and he exhaled a sigh of relief. She was fine. She was with him.

He was overwhelmed with his relief, gratitude, and disbelief. The tears that earlier on conveyed all his feelings of heartbreak and pain, now bore his relief and his happiness as they streamed down his cheeks, his hands cradling his little bundle of joy closer to his chest.

"Claire," he whispered her name and his voice betrayed him, revealing how emotional and relieved he was to have her back where she belonged. "Oh my god, you're here," and for once he didn't care who was getting the credit. It didn't even register because of all the things that could have happened, what he thought to be impossible is what did.