She's Got The Devil's Eyes - Deckerstar (Completed)

Chapter III

A little over a month goes by and there's not a single day where Chloe doesn't think about Lucifer. There's not a single day where she can say: 'today I don't miss you as much', there's not a single case where she doesn't miss his presence and help. She can't find peace, she feels lonely, so much that some times she falls asleep crying, clutching on tightly to the small and white feather that the devil left behind. She can't help but feel like that little feather is the only thing she has left of him.

She couldn't believe how many things had changed since Lucifer left, how some things that were routinary, that she did without even thinking, now had turned into something tough. For one, she started to think more subjectively about cases. Lucifer used to be the one to add the out of place, usually not asked for comment or action that would help solve a case, and without him around she had to learn how to think both like herself and like he used to. She needed perspective sometimes, and that was a hard thing to achieve when working alone. She had also refused when the lieutenant offered her a new partner to work with, not being ready to start working with someone else. The only one she would consider working with was Dan, but they had agreed a long time ago that they wouldn't work together given their past history so she was still taking cases all on her own. Truth to be told, she doesn't think she will ever be ready to work with somebody else.

She still prays to the devil. She sometimes feels like it's useless but she can't help but miss him. He had become a constant in her life and she lost him far too soon, no one told her it would be that way. Amenadiel said that he can probably hear her when she prays but that he's unable to answer, so that's a little motivation for her to keep going. He'd told her that praying in between them felt like some kind of unidirectional communication, that he would hear Lucifer and come to him whenever he would pray, and viceversa. She talks to him when she has a bad day, a good one, or when she's just tired of a case or hits a dead end. It's as if praying to him helped her get more into perspective. Well, that and of course, she prays to him when she misses him so much that her heart begins to ache, whenever her pain and longing for him are so much that she starts to cry, feeling heartbroken all over again. If she had to give a definition of how she felt, she would say that it's pretty much like when someone close to you dies. She felt that way when her father died, now she does with Lucifer. The only thing that changes is that she knows her father is dead, the devil, on the other hand, is not.

Trixie had asked her about Lucfer a lot, sometimes over breakfast or whenever she hears a funny joke. Chloe can tell she misses him as well, even if the devil wasn't as close to her. Chloe had told her the same old story, that he had some family issues and had to go back home indefinitely. She couldn't find it in her heart to tell her that Lucifer was practically dead, that he would never come back. Trixie, being her cheery self, thought that he'd come back eventually, she was just impatient as to when.

Another thing that had changed a lot, too, was her relationship with Linda and Amenadiel. She would have added Maze into the picture but she left once she heard about Lucifer going back to Hell. Maybe she just needed to find herself now that her lifelong best friend wasn't around. She had asked Amenadiel to take her back to Hell as well but he refused, reminding her of Charlie and her life on earth. Chloe had been going to their home whenever she felt lost, which now seemed to be most of the times. She still had so many questions about the celestial world and they were the only people she knew who could talk about it with her. She had even asked Amenadiel about her own father and how he was doing.

Linda had become a close friend of hers, the one she could rely on when her emotions went wild and she felt mentally drained, especially when it was about something related to Lucifer, which was ninety per cent of the times. She had got to a point in their friendship where she felt like she could talk about anything and everything with her. She and Charlie were a true treasure.