July | c.c & s.m

12.

Camila

"Wake the fuck up!" My eyes flew open by the harsh sound of Matthews voice. "Get ready, we're going down for breakfast today and I was booked for an interview with you later today. Be ready. And I warn you. No. Drama." He said in a stern voice. I nodded slowly, pushing myself up from the bed to get dressed and ready for the day. I was scared.... scared what today would bring. He was already in the living room having a coffee, waiting for me, clearly annoyed. "Let's go." He growled, grabbing the keys of the counter and walking to the door, not even giving me a second to even drink water or anything. I followed him and the elevator ride was quiet, it was quiet until we entered the car. "One. Last. Time. Don't ruin this for me later. You are there to bring me more attention. And after that we're going to you studio session. Bags are kinda packed and will be brought to the studio so we can immediately go to the airport and go away from this fucking country." He explained, getting angrier at the end, making me feel.... powerless, like always. 

When we arrived we were lead inside to a dressing room and did my makeup. "Make sure to put a lot of make up on her." I heard Matthew from behind me saying to one of the make up artists. "Oh and give her proper clothes, please. I don't want her to embarrass me." He said harshly making me feel ashamed for my look. Everything about me is just wrong... always. He proves it to me every day... He makes me feel.... worthless. I sat down in front of the mirror, waiting to get my make up done. I didn't look into the mirror... I couldn't. I sat there, fidgeting with my fingers, trying to distract myself. The makeup artist sat down and started doing a decent makeup, making me look... better than before. It didn't even take that long. "Thank you." I said quietly, thanking her. "You're welcome, sweetie." She smiled at me, packing her things and going to grab an outfit for me. I waited, patiently, not moving, scared he might enter and... do something. She came back with a black tight turtle neck, oh god. And some light blue jeans. "Thanks." I said again quietly, taking the things and walking into the dressing room which was nearby. I took off my clothes, trying to avoid my body in the mirror but it was impossible. I just look... horrible. Bruises, cuts, injuries... everything. I quickly looked down and pulled on the clothes. It looked okay. But nothing more. I steeped outside and let her scan my body. "Look at you, you look so pretty Camila." She smiled, fixing my shirt a little before stepping back again. I gave her a small smile. "You're ready to go then, Matthew is waiting in the interview room." She said, leading me out with her. I was getting nervous. Really nervous. I entered the room and there was Matthew with a stern look on his face, waiting for me. "Finally." I heard him say as he rolled his eyes. "Alright, so can we start?" The interviewer asked. "Let's go." Matthew answered. "Camila, you just sit there next to Matthew. If questions should be asked, which I don't think, you answered please." His manager said. I nodded, walking to the couch where Matthew was sitting on. He didn't even leave an inch space between us, he was practically glueing me to him, making sure he could control me... again. 

I flinched when I felt him pinch my arm to grab my attention. "Isn't that right Camila?" I heard the interviewer ask me. Shit... I wasn't listening. "I- ehm.... excuse me, could you repeat that?" I asked a little nervous. "Of course. Matthew and you seem to be doing pretty well lately. We've seen you out on a few dates lately and now the trip to Toronto. He must really love you, isn't that right?" Oh my god. "Oh, yeah... he- he really loves me. And I love him too, of course." I smiled slightly, trying to sound as convincing as possible. I hope I was convincing enough for Matthew. The interview went on for about 10 more minutes before we were finally able to go. I was walking back into my dressing room when I felt Matthew behind me, grasping my wrists. "Come here." He whispered loudly, pulling me into his dressing room. "What are yo-" "Shut up! Why were you thinking so much in that interview? People are going to think that something is wrong!" He said loudly, pushing me back against the wall, holding me on my shoulders roughly. "I' s-sorry..." I tried to apologize. "You know what? If people will get suspicious, you're to blame!" He shouted again but not too loud so people could hear it from outside. He shoved me against the wall once more before ripping the door open and shoving me outside. I made my way to my dressing room, checking if anyone was inside before quickly getting in and locking the door, sliding down the door, feeling my breath getting quicker. "No... Camila... breathe... you don't have time for this today...." I whispered to myself, trying to calm down so I could get re-dressed and could go to the Studio with Matthew. I let out a shaky breath before trying to stand up, steadying myself on the door. "You can do this Camila." I whispered before walking up to grab my clothes and get changed. I luckily also brought some more comfortable clothes for the studio so I changed into them. A nice, large hoodie and some Sweatpants. I changed into them quickly, leaving the makeup on to hide bruises and stuff. I hung the clothes I had just worn back up, grabbed my bag und walked back to the door, slowly opening it to see if anyone was outside. No one. So I stepped out and looked for the exit.

"Camila! Come, hurry!" Matthew shouted from the car. I quickly made m way to the car and got inside. "What took you so fucking long?" He asked angrily. "I- I'm sorry... I was... I was changing..." I tried to explain. "That is not an excuse to take so long!" He screamed, making me flinch. "S- sor-" "Shut up! We're going to the studio now. And be lucky that I'm driving you there... else you could walk." I kept quiet after that. He started to drive and it was... quiet in the car. No one talked... but his hand was... grasping my thigh tightly... bruising it. I just hope we arrive there quickly...

As soon as the car stopped, I got out and rushed to the entrance with my bag. "Camila!" I heard him shout but... I needed to get to the studio. And I need to make sure Shawn isn't here. As I registered my name at the counter, I rushed upstairs to the studio I rented, hoping I wouldn't meet Shawn... well... I kind of wish he was here but not with Matthew around. So when I couldn't find him I was kind of relieved that he wouldn't get hurt by Matthew. I opened the door,  locking it, wanting to feel at least a little safe in here. I got my little book and looked at the last few pages. The song from yesterday is... pretty okay, thanks to Shawn. But I know today would be a different story. I knew it. 

I was calmly sitting at the table, writing down random lyrics when I suddenly heard a loud and hard knock on the door, making me flinch and causing me to draw a line into the book. I looked at the door, waiting for another knock. And when it came with a shout from Matthew to "Open the fuck up or are you not alone in there?!" I jumped up and quickly opened the door. "Sorr-" "Don't talk, go and do your work." He said, shoving me to the side and sitting down on the couch. I let out a shaky breath and walked back towards my stool, grabbing my pen and trying to concentrate again.... but it was hard, knowing Matthew was watching my every move. I was scared he would hurt me... I was always scared of him. 

Two hours had passed and my time was up. Matthew didn't let me have the time I usually needed but maybe its just because we were flying back to London in a few hours. "Let's go." He said, shoving me out the door. We walked towards the elevator and it was really uncomfortable. We walked back to the car, Matthews hand on my lower back so I would hurry towards the car. Just when I was about to get in, I heard someone call my name, making me flinch slightly and turn towards the voice, which definitely wasn't Matthew. I turned around and so did Matthew and it was... "Shawn?"

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Shit's about to get crazy.... or not?

Sorry for taking so long to update but I'm finally back!!