When Life Gives You Monica

CHAPTER EIGHT

It's been three days and I still can't get over the 'almost sexual experience' I had with Tyler. He is literally the perfect guy for me, he's been sending me all these I Love You long paragraphs which is so unusual & I'm falling harder than I've ever fell in love with him. Although I feel like we've been moving too fast that we might crash? It's all worth the 'bad gal' experience. Besides Tyler being my happy place, I've started getting bad again and it's worse than ever. Having a background of being bullied has taken a huge toll on me. I can't seem to forget the harsh words that were said to me and how I never had an actual friend to fight for me. I still remember how everyone became aware of my first suicide attempt to a point that my English teacher made fun of it. Why did it have to be me? Why do I have to come from a broken family background where I am forced to love myself because nobody else does? Where I am forced to be comfortable with being alone because I have no friends? Well, I do have a friend but she has other friends which she values more than me. Once again, I hate myself for existing when people that deserve to live are dying. All these are the thoughts that came to mind just when I was about to sleep. With tears rushing down my face like a waterfall, I look for my special small pink box with all my razor blades and eventually start slitting my wrist. I was on the verge of suicide and had no one to talk to. My mom was in her room with Mr Smith, mingling as always since he moved in. My pyjamas are covered with blood from my two arms, I go wash off the blood from my skin and change my pyjamas. Just when I was about to go to bed, a notification on my phone, a text message from Tyler.
**Family is leaving tmr, pls come over? I'll be so lonely without you & I love you girl! <3**
My heart starts pounding, it always does whenever Tyler tells me to come over. Once again, I pack all my Girl101 important things because I was gonna go over to Tyler's house with or without my mother's permission. (03:45am) I still can't sleep, why does this boy always give me sleepless nights that make me overthink what events will take place when were together? You know what? Let me save all this energy and go to bed, I'll need it when confronting my mom.