When Life Gives You Monica

CHAPTER TEN

Fast forward to midnight, Tyler and I have been having sex multiple times that I even lost count. This time it felt different, I felt more pain than pleasure and I wasn't as wet as before. We decided to stop because one, we were both tired and two, we weren't feeling it, or I wasn't feeling it? I felt so embarrassed, am I this bad in sex? Is Tyler disgusted on my bad sexual skills? Will he break up with me? And a thousand other thoughts came to mind. But I eventually slept it off. I was deep into my dreams and lost track of time. I could feel someone sucking my boobs, I thought it was a dream when it was Tyler sucking my boobs trying to give me morning sex. I went on with it and I was wet down there. No condom again, Tyler slides his dick in my vigana. It hurts so bad but "it will get better" I said to myself in the inside but it didn't. I couldn't bare the pain and I tell Tyler to stop, but he doesn't. I tell him again and he still doesn't stop. Instead, he gets rough with me and the pain deteriorates. "TYLER PLEASE STOP! YOU'RE HURTING ME", I shout while tears start falling down my face. I am trying to escape from Tyler but I am defenseless because he is ontop of me. "I'm sorry Monica but I have to do this I don't have a choice" he says while groaning. "Tyler I'm going to scream if you don't stop. I won't ever talk to you if you don't stop. Please stop, I am really in pain" I say. Tyler does nothing but groan while he forcefully holds my hands from disturbing him. I can feel his penis go in and out of my vigana, the pain felt like an open wound dipped in hot water mixed with salt. I became numb, numb towards everything. I could feel my soul helplessly leaving my body. I couldn't scream, I couldn't shout. All I could do was silently cry while looking up to the ceiling with nothing in my mind but pain. Half an hour passed and Tyler was still forcing himself on me. After he cummed and noticed that I was bleeding, he stopped and said "Babe I'm sorry please forgive me" . I could see his lips moving saying out words but I couldn't make sense of what he was saying because I immediately died inside, my soul was crashed and I couldn't help it. He gave up trying to beg me and his last words to me were "You know what? Fuck you, if you wanna talk to me then you will". Really? After all that happened? He still can't see what he did wrong? I wanted to call someone but I didn't know who. I stayed in his bed for 2hrs feeling empty inside with my blood stained underwear. He came back to the room and all of a sudden noticed the cuts on my arms. Look at him looking all concerned, I just wanted to go home. I left him alone in the room, took my belongings and went to the bathroom and ran myself a bath. I immediately broke down, I was hurt and I was in pain. My mind kept replaying what Tyler did, I felt so disgusted in myself and blamed myself for everything. Undressing myself and seeing the blood stains on my clothes and on my wrist because some cuts started bleeding again because of the pressure that Tyler put while he was holding my arms. I entered the bathtub, the water was hot and the pain from my wrists and vagina was sore and unbearable but I stayed in the bathtub to punish myself. I stayed 30mins in the bathtub, I didn't even bath but just wiped the blood stains off. I dressed up when I was done and I had to pee, the pain I experienced just from peeing made me break down again, I couldn't pee because I was in pain. I threw myself down on the floor and just silently cried. I took my phone and requested an Uber because I couldn't stand being around Tyler. I head out of the bathroom to the lounge, seeing Tyler so unbothered while playing video games crushed my soul 10× more. While waiting for my uber, Tyler and I aren't talking everything felt tense. My ride finally arrives, I stand up and tell my so called boyfriend that I am leaving. All he said was "Okay...". Just like that? Really? I was raging inside but I kept shut. I was quiet on the ride back home because I couldn't cope and the loud uber driver that wont stop talking just made things worse. I got home expecting to see my mom & Ronald at home. But all I saw was a note written **Left town to join Mr Smith on his business trip. Don't wait up, I'll be back within a few days. Xoxo**
I needed someone to comfort me and my mom decides to put her boyfriend above me, as always? I was so drained that all I could do was sleep and feel dead for a little while.